Voices Within Her
by BrightAngel06
Summary: The Doctor's past is catching up with him in more ways than one. TenRose...hopefully. Angsty fic with a lot of potential! Please read and review. Post TCI but before New Earth. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Unanswered Questions

Hi! This is only my second fic on here so please forgive any errors as I haven't got a beta. New fic, as I said so any ConCrit is gratefully recieved as well as reviews. Thanks! (BTW for anyone who's wondering chapter 22 of Soul Songs will be up late on Monday night as I'm a bit busy on Sunday) Thanks, please read and review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing you might know of. Nothing at all...

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Unanswered Questions

Down the dirt grass trail towards a river deep in the depths of the TARDIS, Rose Tyler walked. The trickling of the water made her ears prick up, vibrations running through her skin like they were a part of her. Beyond everything but the clouds Rose existed. Stuck in her head; thinking so much that it made her brain hurt again. They'd been happening on and off, her headaches. One time she awoke with a splitting pain across her skull, a burning heat right through the centre. She'd wondered for a second if someone hadn't snuck onto the TARDIS and buried an axe in her head. The next time it happened, she'd thought an axe through her head would've hurt less. She didn't tell him. The Doctor, the _new _Doctor. Rose's world had been turned upside down by his change. She missed him – the old him – too much for words. So she kept to herself, convinced herself every day that he was the same man, the same person.

Except that he wasn't; he was completely different. No longer did the Doctor flash darkness her way. He was lighter, cheekier and game for a laugh. She wondered what had happened to the burden he carried. Everything worried her. Did he still like her? Would they be friends, as close as before? Would he still protect her from everything she feared? Could she still trust him with her life? Would she still love him?

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"Rose! Are you in here?" The Doctor called out into the fake sunlight of the TARDIS gardens. He missed Rose, if he was being honest with himself. Someone to laugh with, someone to just be happy with once again. He knew she was having a hard time coming to terms with the new him, every companion of his did…but something inside him thought that Rose was taking it harder than any of the others had. He walked down the bare path by a small river he didn't remember being there, calling out again, softer. "Rose?" He walked down a hill carefully in his converses.

As the Doctor came to the base of the hill, he saw her. Her back was to him. Rose's arms were spread eagled behind her, supporting her weight as she gazed up into the sun-lit sky, humming a quiet tune to herself. He stayed silent and watched her, enraptured by the mere sight of her. Everything about her seemed to exude a deep-seated sadness; it was furrowed deep within her, past anyone's reach. The Doctor gazed at her, awed by the gold shining in her shoulder length hair. It even seemed to graze her skin.

She turned around slowly, frowning at him, "You do know of course, that it's rude to stare."

A smile broke out across his face slowly, "I know. I said I was rude."

"And not ginger." She added, turning back to gaze up at the sky.

He paused to watch her for a few moments before sitting next to her at the base of the hill, wet grass dampening his trousers slightly. He sighed, "Rose…"

"Hmm?" She still stared at the sky, eyes focusing on a point far from her reach.

"D'you… I mean d'you…"

She turned to look at him now, eyes gazing across him. "D'you what?"

"D'you wanna go somewhere, a nice somewhere I mean. Well that's kind of obvious, I don't really want to take you to a _bad_ somewhere, what kind of tour guide would I be then? You wouldn't imagine the things I've done. By accident I mean, not on purpose. You know once I..."

Rose cut off his ramblings, "Yeah, Doctor, that'd be great, thanks."

He looked at her worryingly as she stared at the sky once again. "Right. Then. I'll just…set the co-ordinates. See you in a minute, yeah?" He got no reply.

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Rose stayed still for five more minutes, staring off into nowhere, realising she had no answers to her questions as she wandered slowly back to the control room. Her feet padded heavily on the corridor floors. She was wallowing in self pity and she knew it. She forced a smile on her face as she saw the Doctor bounding about like a giddy schoolboy around the console. She vaguely wondered if he had ever been this giddy, even when he was a schoolboy. The thought made her smile inside for a second, a spilt second where she knew him again. He whirled around, pulling levers, flicking switches, pushing buttons, taking them anywhere and everywhere. As the TARDIS finally lurched into action, she grabbed the edge of the console and held on, the Doctor turning to stare at her, grinning like a maniac._ Some habits never die, then, _she thought to herself, smiling internally again.

The TARDIS stopped abruptly and she nearly lost her balance. Grinning, the Doctor got up off the floor where he'd fell. "We're here!"

His grinned seemed infectious and Rose found herself grinning inanely at him. "And where exactly is _here_ then Doctor?"

He watched her eyes as he talked. "_Here _is Paris, 3010."

As the Doctor expected, Rose's eyes lit up. "Paris! Really Paris? Not on another world? Paris, France?"

His grin got wider as he saw the one plastered on her face finally reach her deep brown eyes. "Yep, this is Paris, France, Earth, the Universe, all of time and space."

She narrowed her eyes. "I don't have to change, do I?"

"Not unless you're planning on going to a fancy dress party, Rose."

She grinned at the Doctor, eyes bristling. "Fantastic!" She didn't notice him flinch as she turned and headed toward the TARDIS door.

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Following Rose, he shut the wooden door behind him then turned to look at Rose. Her face was one painted with awe. He stared at her and he wondered if this incarnation had a penchant for voyeurism. He shook it off and tore his eyes from her, turning them towards the view in front of him. They'd landed on top of a building, ten storeys high, above a beautiful bustling city. People, human and alien, were rushing around below them, some chatting with each other briefly before parting. Couples holding hands, children running round chasing each other. Rose smiled as she watched a green skinned little boy kicking around a hovering ball with a human boy, dark hair just about visible to her eyes.

He watched the same boys for a few moments, "Things don't always change, Rose. Some things stay constant." He looked back at her, his words starting to seep into her mind, her brain processing them.

"_Some _things don't change, Doctor. _Some _things." She smiled sadly for a spilt second then scanned the roof. "And there're still fire escapes! Come on, then, I wanna see the markets!"

"I knew I should've taken you some place where you couldn't spend all my money!"

Rose laughed as she climbed down the ladder. A laugh he knew was forced, however real it sounded.

Reaching the bottom, she held out a hand for him to take as he jumped the last step. He took it willingly and held on as they walked hand in hand towards the market place. Rose inhaled and smelled everything, all her senses working overtime. She smelled the Doctor next to her, unfamiliar, smelling of old spice aftershave, cinnamon and the same old engine oil aroma she was used to. Rose found that she missed the smell of battered leather. She heard the accented voices of locals, unfamiliar accents of aliens pushing past them. She felt the air in her lungs, cleaner, brighter than she'd thought it would be. This was what she needed, a break from the questioning, from the self pity hole she'd dug herself into over the past week. It was as it should be again. The Doctor and Rose. Partners in crime. But as she turned her head, a wave of disappointment flooded over her icy cold. The face she longed to see, blue eyes and big ears was gone. Just this stranger with brown doe eyes, big brown ruffled hair and a forced smile across his face. Rose suddenly felt suffocated by his presence, tearing her hand away from his she started to walk across to the market stall surrounded by people. She smiled her voice shaky as she turned back to him, a bewildered look on his face. "Tell you what, I'll go search the stalls, go window shopping without the windows and you can go exploring."

He stared at her retreating back. "Rose…"

"I'll meet you back at the TARDIS in two hours! See ya later, Doctor!" Once again she didn't see the flash of hurt cross his face as she disappeared into the crowd.

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A/N: please do tell me what you think, I am going somewhere a bit different with it, I promise. Romance and fluff included!


	2. Colours, Colours Everywhere

Okay, I'm so sorry it took so long but I wanted to get Soul Songs written down first (last chapter of S.S is written and done!) Hope you enjoy this chapter, dedicated to: more-than-words, talkingtothesky, Dealer in Death, I-Confuse-Everyone, xxdramaqueen and blackhairdye for reviewing the first chapter, please continue to! (title makes sense later on, I promise)

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Colours, Colours Everywhere But Not a Drop to Drink

Rose ran as fast as her legs would carry her. Barely out of sight of the Doctor and she had sprinted faster than a greyhound on race day. Her breathing was heavy and laboured as she pushed past tourists and locals in the market, willing herself to get lost amongst the crowds. Her hair whipped her face, sticking to her sweat-ridden forehead and obscuring her vision. A million thoughts ran through her head as she pumped her legs harder, thoughts she felt guilty for thinking, for knowing that she was being too human for words. She pushed at people, muttering quiet, quick apologies as she became amassed in seas of bright colours. Purples, greens, flesh tones and gold blurred her view point. She ran harder when she saw a pink-skinned man in pinstripe trousers. Rose ran until her muscles burned and her veins pumped battery acid. Then she ran some more. Rose sprinted past stalls, she dashed past people, past aliens she recognized, past others she didn't. Rose ran and ran and ran to escape herself. Her feet, blistering painfully in battered trainers, pounded a softer-than-concrete pavement that seemed wonderfully normal to her ears, reminding her of London, of Earth and of the old Doctor; her dead Doctor.

Rose slowed down as the tears built up in her eyes again. She'd lost him, found him then lost him again in the space of a few hours back on the Games Station. It was just too much to cope with. She reduced herself to walking at a snail's pace; the searing throb in her limbs a welcome distraction from the pain in her heart. It tore through her chest, forcing the tears from her hazel-brown eyes to fall. Looking up reluctantly, she found herself in the centre of the market with no idea of how far inside the unfamiliar surroundings she was. She sat on the ledge of a beautiful fountain. The water glistened as it glided over contemporary curves moulded carefully from something Rose had never seen before. She turned her head slowly and gazed up at the architectural piece.

It almost enraptured her; the sound, the view of the light dappled across the water as it cascaded. The water morphed into different colours as she watched. From clear water to a brilliant white, almost like paint then to a pale translucent blue, clean as the sky above her head. It was beautiful. From blue to dusky pink, to peach and flesh tones, the water changed every few moments. It was enchanting her with its strange water, its sound and smell.

She could've sworn it smelt of old leather and engine oil as her fingers grazed the surface of the water.

He stared in stunned silence as she walked away from him, his pulse racing in shock. She'd just…left him. Just…left him standing there, on the pavement, surrounded on all sides by people. He couldn't understand it. Was he that different? Was he a horrible person this time round? Why did Rose hate him so much? As a 7 foot-tall man pushed past him, his senses knocked back into reality. He had to go find her. He wouldn't just stand there with his mouth open like an idiot and wait for her to come to him! No, he wouldn't let her go that easily. Shrugging off his jacket and loosening his tie, he made his way through the crowds, following the sound of laboured breathing he knew all too well.

As he rounded a corner, he found that she rushed past him, her legs pushing forwards, almost running of their own accord as they pumped faster. He followed her, worried. Was something or someone chasing her? A million thoughts ran through his head, each situation was worse than the last. He followed her, walking ten feet behind her as she slowed down, limping. The Doctor ducked behind a stall full of a gold and red fabric, watching her as she sat on the ledge of a fountain, curved beautifully around and dappled with the sunlight over the Huerotelepathic water she had never seen before. The sight of her with tears rolling down her face, her hand in the changing water and a sad smile crossing her face made him ashamed. All she needed was a while to get over his change, to mourn his old self and he had followed her.

The Doctor hung his head in shame as the guilt itched at his skin, the burning sensation spreading throughout his body. He'd turned into her stalker. Ignominy and remorse pulsed through him as he looked back one last time. Rose's eyes were closed and her fingers were painted in silver water. He sighed deeply as he started walking back to the edge of the market. The Doctor knew that only once in a century did Huerotelepathic water turn silver. Silver was the colour of deep-seated pain, the water changing to mirror Rose's hurt.

Rose had felt his eyes on her. Oh, she knew she was being paranoid in all likelihood but she felt like he was still watching over her. Every once in a while, she imagined his hand in hers, his northern accent saying her name; it was just anything she could grasp hold of and grip tightly with her fingertips. It only brought her sadness but still she clung onto what she had left of him. She would never tell _him_, but she couldn't even sleep at her mum's flat any more. She needed the hum of the TARDIS to soothe her nightmares. Nightmares of wolves, a powerful light, games and golden kisses. She was haunted by blue eyes, by northern accents, by the smell of leather. She wanted him back. Rose wanted _him_ with hernot this gibbering cheek of a man, all giddy and doe-eyed.

_Damn!_ She thought to herself, _No, I can't think that! It's wrong! It's just wrong! I can't feel that way about the new Doctor! It's like cheating on my Doctor! No! Never!_ But that's what Rose Tyler felt. For all her grief and wishing he was back with her, she realised she _wanted _this Doctor more than anything else. She ached for comfort, for something to take the pain away. She wanted to tell him that she loved him; that she needed him to stay with her, not to change. Just to stay with her forever. All she had left was the new boy.

Sighing, she walked slowly over to the market stall, head bowed, searching the tables pointlessly. Suddenly, she felt someone smack full-on into her, knocking her clear onto the ground. Her arms braced behind her as she fell, her palms scraping across the concrete floor painfully, the skin breaking and her hands bleeding. Dazed, she looked up to see a frantic man above her. As he came into focus, her eyes widened.

Something in his voice made Rose listen hard. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry! I'm always doing this! I'd lose me head if it weren't screwed on tight!" He offered her his hand; she looked at him, dubious, "You could at least let me help you, you know."

She took his hand. "Sorry, it's my fault. Wasn't looking where I was going."

"Nah, I was the one who knocked you over!" He saw her wince as he held her hand, "Oh, you're hurt. Come on, I'd better help you out."

She waved him off, unable to stop staring at his eyes, "It's fine, it's nothing really…"

"You're bleeding, I've gotta help before you get anything in it." He looked deep into her eyes, "I work in an old-fashioned café, it's just five minutes walk away, I'll run the skin regenerator over it. We'll have you good as new in no time."

She couldn't describe it. Rose just trusted him from the off. "Yeah. Yeah, that'd be…great…thanks!"

Rose simply couldn't get over how blue his eyes were. They were seas and she was drowning in them. Somewhere nearby, the owner of a pair of russet-brown doe eyes stalked off, the jealous, angry streak let loose.

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A/N: next chapter up Wednesday 13th...probably...please review. You know you want to. LOL SWAK from BrightAngel06


	3. Grief and Longing

Sorry for the bit of a wait, it's been hectic at college. This chapter's shorter by quite a bit but it's pivotal! Borrowed a quote from Pretty Woman, hope you can spot it because it's kinda obvious (well to me anyway) I'm going to write the whole thing this weekend (hopefully) and so I'll tell you how long it's going to be by the next chapter. But for now, I hope you enjoy reading - and reviewing - this chapter...

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Grief and Longing

Rose stared at the strange man in front of her. His dark hair was longer than she'd normally like on a man; it was glossy and skimmed his shoulders wonderfully, captivating her as it swayed in the slight breeze. Rose was hypnotised by the mystery just one step ahead of her. Something about him enthralled her; she felt that buzz as he strode ahead of her, so confident. Rose just stared at the contoured planes of his back, his shoulders broad and demanding attention. It occurred to her that she hadn't felt this way about anyone new since… Rose swallowed deeply and felt the fresh tears stinging her eyes to add to the sting in her hand. She missed the Doctor, the real Doctor. This man, whoever he was, reminded her of him. He carried that same air of confidence, compassion and overwhelming protectiveness that the Doctor she fell in love with had. Even this man's eyes matched her Doctor's; deep blue pools she knew that she would drown in if she could.

She didn't even know his name and already she was following him anywhere, to the ends of the earth for all she knew but still she followed him in silence, He wore a deep emerald green jumper. It looked soft, softer than anything Rose knew of. His trousers were black, in a heavy almost denim-like material. It made her head spin how much he reminded her of the Doctor, even in the way he dressed. She almost thought about buying him a battered leather jacket. He suddenly pulled on her fingers and her head snapped up, her mind opened out of her reverie as he pulled her fingers, indicating for her to follow him into the door standing ajar.

Rose gazed open-mouthed as she found herself in the middle of a café that looked about ten years ahead of her time. Rough brass-mirrored counters with rounded edges, chairs with soft armchair-like seats scattered their way across the vast room. A touch-pad on each table that Rose assumed was for ordering anything she liked. It was…beautiful and warming. She could almost hear the comforting hum from an out-of-view kitchen. He pulled out an armchair for her to sit. As she slid down, clutching her still-bleeding hand, she sat down comfortably and relaxed, letting the almost inaudible hum wash over her sore body. Blinking, she looked up to see him standing over her, a small smile on his face and a bowl of water on the table. He spoke softly, as if not wanting to disturb her relaxation, "Here, let me clean it for you. It's the least I can do after I knocked you over."

He took her left hand and turned it palm-up, "You don't have to, you know; it's not your fault, I wasn't looking where I was going." He just smiled sincerely and dipped blue cotton into the water, gently dabbing at her scrapes. "What's your name, anyway? I can't keep calling you 'Oi!' can I?"

"You can if you want." He laughed gently, turning back to her hands. After a pause he spoke suddenly, "But my name's Scottamanavor. But you can call me Scott, I guess."

Rose smirked, "Can I call you Scotty?"

"Not if you expect me to answer." Rose just kept on smiling as he dabbed at the cut on her other hand.

Scott wiped gently at her palms, rinsing the cloth out every few swipes. If she gasped as he hit a tender spot, he would apologize and smooth his fingers over the cut. Rose was entranced again as he dried her hands tenderly. His fingertips traced over the lines on her hand, sucking in a breath as she saw the concentration on his face. He features cut deep into her, his voice was low and husky, "I don't know your name…"

She stuttered, "It's…it's Rose."

"Rose," He repeated slowly, "So beautiful…It suits you." He looked up as she swallowed visibly. She shivered as his fingers grazed at pulse in her wrist, lingering to feel the thrumming. "You are beautiful, Rose. I just thought you should know."

Rose blushed a deep scarlet red. "I should go; my friend's probably worried about me."

As Rose stood, he twisted his hand around her wrist. "He can wait, Rose Tyler. He always waits for you."

The blood rushed down from her face, "How did you know my last name?" His grip on her wrist tightened as he pulled her into the back of the empty eatery.

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_Damn her! _The Doctor was pacing around the TARDIS, angrier than he thought he'd ever been in his lifetimes. Any of them. His pace quickened as his anger deepened. _Bloody human! Honestly, give them an inch and they take a mile! _His anger turned quickly to jealousy as he remembered the man she was walking hand-in-hand with. Another pretty boy, just like all the others. Dark, long hair and blue eyes that taunted him and played on his mind like an enemy's plot. _Who the hell does he think he is! He could be anyone, he could have done anything! Rose's so vulnerable right now, he could easily take advantage of her! He can't take her away from me…He just can't._ He grabbed his discarded jacket and slung it over his shoulder as he stalked away, intent on tracking down this man who held the woman the Doctor loved with all his heart and soul.

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A/N: just slipped in a snippet of the Doctor there, just to wet your appetite. I'm mean, I know...


	4. It Never Ends

Okay, apologising now for the shortness of this chapter but I had to end it here, so so sorry and you're probably going to hate me for it but I promise it's a shorter wait. Amazing reviews, really brilliant, thanks so much...

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It Never Ends

Rose struggled hard against Scott's grip on her as fear and worry ripped through her body. He pulled her roughly into the kitchens, twisting her around to face him, a hard look set into his face. His breathing was ragged as he shut the metal door that blocked her only way out, leaning against the cold hard metal surface. She pulled her wrist from his painful grip, her voice shook, betraying the fear she felt coursing through her. "Who the hell are you!" She backed away from him slowly, "How d'you know my surname?"

He put his hands up in surrender, "I just have to get you away from him, away from that man…"

Confused, her head titled, "What man? Who are you talking about?"

He sounded exasperated, striding towards her quickly, "The Doctor, Rose. I'm talking about the Doctor."

Shock now, pure unadulterated shock, "H…how d'you know _him_? What d'you know about him?"

"Enough." Scott said simply, staring straight into her eyes, unblinking.

"No! No, that's not good enough for me." Rose walked to the door, surprised to find he didn't try to stop her. Her hand wrapped around the door handle, pushing down and pulling it towards her. It didn't budge an inch. "Why's this locked? What d'you want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you! I just want you to listen. He's not the man you think he is, Rose."

To Scott's surprise she waved him off with her hand, "Yeah, I've heard this before. He's dangerous, right? He's going to get me hurt or worse?" She laughed shortly, "Like I said, it's been done to death, so I'm just gonna ask that you spare me the sermon, vicar." She laughed again and dipped her head for a second. "You actually sound like my mother, you know that?"

He studied her for a moment. Laughing to herself, wiping tears from her eyes, "Silly little human ape. I don't mean that kind of dangerous. You don't understand. He's not who he say he is, Rose. That man is not the Doctor. Not anymore."

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The Doctor spun around on his heels in the centre of the marketplace, blurred images of people obscuring his vision. He knew he never should have left her alone but…_Oh! What did I do to her?_ His thoughts were clouded by her. His sight was compromised by the image of his Rose. Or someone who used to be _his_ Rose… he didn't really know anymore. He supposed that was the problem; he just didn't know anymore. He pulled on his jacket roughly as his sensitive brown eyes scanned the area for anything; a flash of blonde hair, the bright pink and silver of her top or obscure black trousers and trainers. He heard her laugh in his mind, saw her smile that usually lit up her face.

It was then that he sensed it. Fear. Just a tremor, just a spark. But it was there. It was Rose. If only he could use this, he could trace her down. But the feeling was faint and fleeting. Only holding for a nanosecond before it abated out of his system. Nothing left after. A bit of a lead but nothing more. No way in hell he could use such a small thing. It wasn't deep fear, something he could easily use. Something deep and shocking he could use to trace her. The Doctor never thought that he'd ever want Rose to be afraid. But he did. In that one moment, he wanted her terrified. It scared him witless. He tried the link the TARDIS had provided him with. He pulled at his mind, willing the locked door to open. But it was shut tight, unable to move. He pushed harder with his mind, his hands splaying at his temples. He attracted unnerved looks from the people milling past him but he didn't care. He sank to his knees, pain coursing through his head at the effort, his hearts racing hard and pounding in his chest. Everything ached as he rocked back and forth on his knees, pushing and pushing through his mind, seeking any opening.

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She sighed deeply, her breath going deep down into her lungs. "Look, does every evil villain talk in riddles round here, or is it just me being paranoid? Come on, I just…" She cut herself off as searing pain rippled through her, tearing her muscles apart bit by bit. It was excruciating, she fell to her knees, crippled by the pain that spasamed through her frail body. A thousand fiery knives were ripping harshly into her head, her legs, her arms, her torso, everywhere just _hurt_.

She looked up weakly to see Scott standing over her, a small smile plastered on his face. "Now, are you going to listen to me, Rose?"

She gasped for breath, the words she had to force from her mouth, "Why….are you…" Another deep breath through gritted teeth, "…doing this?"

"Who said I was doing anything? It's him, Rose. He's the one who's doing this to you."

"No…he…wouldn't." A surge of pain rippled through her body, electric spreading through her blood.

"You said it yourself, Rose, he's changed. He's different now…how can you trust him? I mean really trust him when you don't know who he is?"

"Who…are…_you_!" She whimpered at renewed pain.

He stared at her, his hand cupping her cheek gently, "I'm…salvation. I've come to get you. Whether you want it or not."

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A/N: like I said, you hate me and I don't blame you. Just review and tell me if you want the next bit... evil laugh


	5. Revealed

Okay, I know it's late but my wireless broke down! Sorry :D But here it is, as promised to you all but this is for more-than-words. Brillaint reviewer who I promised a longer chapter. I hope this fulfils your expectations! Please read and review

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Revealed

It burned. Everything just burned. Her eyes were scorching in their sockets, so painful that she couldn't blink. Scott's hand cupped her cheek. His nimble fingers stroked her flesh and she cooled. Rose saw his eyes close in hard concentration and she felt him cool her pain, her burnt, sore body releasing the ache into the wind. Soon, the pain was gone, leaving Rose kneeling on the hard floor, breathing heavily and tired. But Rose's pain was gone. Not an ember left in her, the hurt had just disappeared. She pushed herself away from Scott, eyes still closed. Her voice wavered, "What the hell are you?"

His eyes opened and they were the bluest she'd ever seen. Sharp, piercing sapphire blue. "That's nice," Rose jumped as his voice came out with the familiar twang of the North. "After I did all this for you, you're still offended."

"Your…your voice…it's…"

He smiled at her trembling form, "What, don't you like it? I thought of all accents, this one would be your favourite."

She backed away from him, quivering and afraid. She couldn't go with him, had to escape, had to find the Doctor, had to escape, had to escape. He stood slowly, striding towards her. Her back hit the locked door with a thud as found her barrier. "Why're you doing this? Why're you doing this to me?"

Scott towered over her, "Because I can. I know you want to, Rose. I can't let you stay with him. That other bloke. Why're you cheating on your Doctor? Huh? Why go off with another man so quickly?"

Rose's strength was renewed in part. Defending the man she loved. "He's not another man, he_ is_ the Doctor."

"But he's not _yours_, is he? He's not _your_ Doctor."

She looked up at him, "Maybe…I don't…" She yelled at Scott, "What d'you want!"

He crouched to her level, a confused look on his face, "You."

* * *

The Doctor was on his knees, dirt caressing his trousers, his hands clutching at his head. He was burning; every pore of skin was on fire.

Then it just…stopped. As quickly as it came, it dissipated. His hands released their death-grip on his scalp and he looked up. He felt her wholly, now. He could sense everything she was going through. Every little flicker of emotion that ran through Rose's brain ran through his head too. He felt tiredness, confusion, anger lurking near the back. But right then, he was flooded by her fear. It swamped him, covering his very being in dread. He felt how scared she was for everything. He felt her surprise, shock, making him wonder what that bloke had said to her. It all came to him in a torrent of feelings.

He rose from the ground and reached out with his mind, the connection so strong. He grinned as he felt pride at her. He knew, somehow, that his Rose was standing up for him. He may not be _her _Doctor yet, but she was still _his_ Rose. She was still the woman he loved. He groaned as he deepened the link. He knew. He knew where Rose was. He ran faster than his legs could carry him.

* * *

Scott grabbed her arm and pulled her upwards, "I need you, Rose. I have to have you with me. I can't survive without you." He looked deep into her eyes.

She shook her head and pressed her back further into the door. "What happened to you? You just…you just…" He grinned slowly, his fingers lacing with her own, his hand holding hers gently. "It's like…you're _him._ All over again."

"Rose Tyler." His grin was out-of-this-world. "Knew you'd cotton on eventually."

Shock came over her. Eyes wide as canyons, her spine coming into contact with the door harder, more painful. She stammered, "B…but…how can you be? It's not…"

"Possible?" He cut her off, "I can assure you, it's very possible. It's right in front of you now. Don't deny it, not when you know it's true, Rose."

She shook her head hard, denial so strong now. "You don't look like him. This is crazy…it's just crazy! It's impossible! It's just impossible!"

"It's not though. Can't you see it?"

Rose stared into his eyes. Hard. They glinted with sparkle, the blue oh-so painfully familiar. She smelt leather and engine oil, heard his accent, so soft and delicious. _No! _She thought, _it can't be him! _She seethed with resentment, spitting in his face, "No! You're not him. You're not the Doctor, not even a part! _He's_ my Doctor! _You're_ the fake, not him! You're a liar!"

His face turned hard. The blue disappeared. Replaced by black, cold, hard anger. So pure and harsh. His face was within an inch of hers, "Stupid human girl. You don't get it, do you? You haven't _got_ a choice! I'm taking you with me! I can't survive without _you_!" His hand grasped around her throat, palm pressing harder, blocking off a part of her windpipe. Rose gagged, gasping for breath as he lifted her off the floor. "I never said I needed you alive. I was trying to make it easy on you, make you think it was your choice! But no, no! Rose Tyler always has to do it the hard way!"

Rose gasped for breath, her fingers pushing at his chest, grabbing at his hand clamped around her throat tightly, "Let…let me…go!" His grip loosened and Rose slumped to the ground.

* * *

He pushed past people, not bothering to apologise. He was beyond angry. At that man, whoever the hell he was but more importantly at himself. How could he have been so stupid? He never should've let her go off on her own! She was vulnerable and in mourning, anyone could've hurt her, taken her away…done anything to her. He swallowed the disgust down his throat and pushed on, ignoring the slight ache in his left ankle. New body, new weaknesses. Some weaknesses never change and Rose was the biggest one of them all. He slowed as he came in front of a little café, shocked. This was where Rose was? So unassuming, so simple. The last place anyone would think of looking. He tried the front door and found it locked. He fumbled around hastily for his screwdriver, turning the settings quickly and slamming the door open.

No-one was around. Not the faintest flicker of life, human or otherwise. He went nearer the back and found a bowl of water. But this was no ordinary water. He could sense the ion content from a mile away, bursting into his senses. He saw a cloth and a smear of blood on the armrest of the chair. His hearts stopped for the briefest of seconds. The Doctor saw a door out of the corner of his eye. He heard Rose's voice then, quiet, muffled by the thick door, _"No! You're not him. You're not the Doctor, not even a part! He's my Doctor! You're the fake, not him! You're a liar!"_ He felt himself swell then deflate quickly as he sensed her pain, her throat constricting and blocking off her windpipe.

He heard a male voice, an achingly familiar northern accent. _"Stupid human girl. You don't get it, do you? You haven't got a choice! I'm taking you with me! I can't survive without you!_ _I never said I needed you alive. I was trying to make it easy on you, make you think it was your choice! But no, no! Rose Tyler always has to do it the hard way!" _Someone was hurting her, sensing her fear, desperation and pain.

"_Let…let me…go." _The Doctor rushed at the door, anger and fear fuelling him, turning the handle hurriedly but finding it stubbornly locked tight. His struggled with the screwdriver, frantically turning the settings button. He had to find the right frequency. Just had to.

He heard a thud from the other side of the door, someone slumping to the ground. He couldn't sense his Rose anymore.

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A/N: Well, it is longer by about 400 words, I think. D'you like it then? 


	6. Trust Is A Virtue Above All Others

Sorry for the wait again, I've been trying to plan this whole thing out and finding it hard so I've decided to just go with the flow for now, anyway. So here it is, I hope you enjoy it. It's a bit complicated and it only explains a little bit. Well, I've gotta keep you coming back for more, haven't I? evil grin But hey, you ask and I give, it's a good relationship! Read and review as always. Ask and you shall receive. Sort of.

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Trust is a Virtue Above All Others

He stopped dead. Time flowed over him. He reached out further, grasping for any flicker of her mind. He stretched himself far as the grief overtook his strength. He found nothing. It was just empty, nothing but blackness in her head. This was it. This was his Rose. Gone. The tips of the Doctor's fingers bristled and tingled as the anger was injected into his blood. His teeth gritted and his screwdriver clicked onto the frequency of the door lock. He aimed it in his trembling hand at the harsh barrier. The lock clicked open.

He shoved the door open with all his might and found the same man, the dark, brooding stranger hovering over his Rose. The man looked up and saw the Doctor, a look of pure anger emanating from his pores, screwdriver trained on him. Thinking quickly, Scott grabbed Rose's limp hand and hauled her to her feet. The Doctor's voice seethed with hatred, "You let her go! You let her go now!" Scott just folded his arm around Rose's waist, her head lolling in front of her torso, "I said LET HER GO!"

Scott held onto Rose tighter, "You won't hurt me, Doctor."

"Who the hell are you!"

He hissed at the Doctor, "Scottamanavor."

The Doctor's head cocked to one side, his eyes narrowing, "Amanavor? You're all extinct…it's not possible, not in this timeline, anyway."

"Oh, I can assure you it's possible, mate."

The northern accent tinged the Doctor's ears with an idea. A horrible idea. "It was the water, wasn't it? Rose would never willingly follow you, so you used that water to give her the image of what she wanted. You hypnotized her."

He sneered, "I needed her strength. Her power, that sadness within her, the very thing that made the fountain water turn silver. Only once in a century, Doctor, a long time to wait."

"Huerotelepathic water…clever plan really, but you forgot one thing. One very important thing."

Scott didn't notice the silver mist creeping over Rose's skin. "Huerotelepathic water has a side effect in this century. It works both ways. She can take your strength as well as you taking hers."

* * *

Rose's senses all rushed back to her at once, her breathing evened out, her throat was looser. She could breathe again. She relished the sweet air she sucked in through aching lungs and a burning windpipe. She heard voices, faint inaudible voices. One, Rose knew, was the Doctor's and the other, rasping northerner was Scott. Her skin was creeping, the tingle crawling up her arms first. Creaking an eye open reluctantly, she gasped as she looked down at her arm. Her skin was glowing silver, bright familiar silver. The same colour as that fountain water in the market. Oh god, what was happening to her? She could feel something strange creeping into her head, something she knew she couldn't hold on to. She heard the Doctor's voice distantly, the grip of Scott's arm on her waist loosened slightly. She pushed her heavy head up, hauling her torso up to look at where she was. Her eyes darted around as she found a bright room, a light that was coming from her body as the silver overtook her skin.

Her voice was a quiet whisper. "Doctor?" She felt weird, Rose wasn't sure what, but something had changed in her. Scott's grip on her loosened completely and Rose felt him slump onto the floor with a thud. Rose fell to her knees, weaker than she was used to. Every joint in her body ached with overexertion as the Doctor scooped her up in his arms. She ached as the silver took over her body, glowing ethereally with the colour.

He looked down on her and Rose saw his eyes, the comforting brown. The ones that would never hurt her, ones who would die to save her, "It'll be okay, Rose. We're going home now. You're nearly home, Rose, back to our TARDIS." Her eyes drifted closed as the darkness claimed her tired soul once more. She heard his parting words as a whisper in her mind, _"Trust me, Rose…"_

* * *

The Doctor watched in immense relief as he saw Rose's torso snap upwards, her eyes frantic and tinged with worry. He watched the strength drain from Scott's body as the silver on Rose's skin grew. He heard her voice, scarily weak and wobbly, "Doctor…" Scott's tight grip loosened on Rose's waist, his voice drained from him as he lost consciousness and slumped to the floor. The Doctor darted forward, anxiety taking over him as he saw Rose collapse onto her knees, wetness coating her face as the silent tears slipped past her defences and slither damp trails down her cheeks. The Doctor scooped Rose up into his arms, her trembling form struggling to stay with him. He looked down at the sleeping form of Scott and back at Rose. With a sneer he strode to the knocked-down door and carried Rose over the threshold. She was more important to him now. He saw her struggling to keep the darkness away, to stay awake. The silver coated everything on her body, every eyelash; every strand of hair was watery, gleaming silver.

Huerotelepathic water was dangerous when it was used the way Scott had used it. Luring her away, manipulating her deepest desire to suck her strength out of her. A trap. A trap he should've known about sooner. He cursed himself and his own stupidity. He rushed past the judging eyes of the locals. Fixing his gaze on Rose he spoke, his own voice weak and trembling, "It'll be okay, Rose. We're going home now. You're nearly home, Rose, back to our TARDIS." He saw her eyes drifting closed and her tremors lessened. He felt the worry well up inside of him as he tried to speak into her head, _"Trust me, Rose…"_

The Doctor picked up his pace and turned a corner, stopping dead in surprise as he found the TARDIS on the ground below the building they had landed on that morning. He kicked the door open and whimpered in remorse as he felt the TARDIS groan in protest. He carried her limp form to her pink-tinged room. He laid her down gently on the soft dusky pink bed and sat next to her, watching her breathe in and out slowly, the glow of the silver lessening with every breath she shuddered in. he kept the vigil for hours. Her normal flesh colour returned to her cheeks, her face paler than normal but thankfully human. Now her skin was ashen. The Doctor fought a battle inside his head, to stay out of her mind. He knew he could risk putting her in danger but if he didn't know what was wrong with her, he wouldn't know how to help. He just didn't know what to do. How could he risk her safety? Rose didn't trust him anyway. If she rejected his mind in hers then she'd be hurting herself even more.

She just had to trust him, like she used to. He looked down at her as her breathing became erratic, "Trust me, my Rose…"

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A/N: Apologizing for the shortness now, I'm ill and this is the most I can do without getting another headache.


	7. Angels and Demons

Here we are again. This one is dedcated to all those brilliant reviewers out there who inspire writers everywhere to keep going and persevere through the writers block. You certainly helped me. Sorry again for the wait, but blame my Communication Studies teacher who gave me a 1500 word essay on the origin of language to write. Not that I've actually finished it yet...anyway...I'm feeling a lot better now, thanks for all the get well soons I got, they really cheered me up. Hope you enjoy this one, I loved writing it.

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Angels and Demons

Rose Tyler walked once again. Through fields of lush grass, green as sparkling emeralds, under a sky bluer than the brightest blue you've ever seen. Inside her mind, she was trapped. She was peaceful, trapped inside her own head, fighting away the urge to push away from the dream world. Inside her mind, she could be alone and just think. Think of these things she knew, of others she didn't. Rose knew she wasn't going to make a miraculous discovery or anything but she like to think she might discover something. Anything, really. She sat down, cross-legged, on the wet field in her head, fingers toying with grass blades in the void between her legs and humming happily to herself. A tune she didn't remember when awake. Rose felt tired. It was like something was chipping away at her little hidey hole and asking to be let in. Dream-Rose didn't like it. She wanted to be alone, she had to be alone. Rose couldn't cope with the outside. Inside she was happy, content and alone. Just like her Doctor had been. Rose heard a familiar voice whisper on the wind in her mind, the London accent she now related to a Doctor, not her Doctor. At least not yet, the voice trembled, "_Trust me, my Rose…"_

Rose felt the chips in her world's edges deepen. He was asking permission to be let in. She didn't know if she could trust him anymore. He wasn't the same yet he was and that one thing confused Rose more than anything in the world. She couldn't ask him, of course. How could you ask a man if he loved her, cared about her still when she hadn't known in the first place? For all Rose Tyler knew, this Doctor might not even exist. Her mind's way of coping with grief. Okay, it was a very long shot but Rose couldn't help the slight twinge of hope that zinged through her. She heard his voice whispering quietly, almost seductively, "_Please…please…please…" _But something else inside said that he was a liar, a con artist, a murderer made its way to the forefront of her thoughts. No, he couldn't be any of those, even if he tried. The Doctor, either of them would never murder, would never lie unless he had to. And Rose knew he wasn't a conman. He never could be anything other than the Doctor; the pure, simple, amazing, fantastic, stupendous, brilliant Doctor. She succumbed to the pushing to the edges of her euphoric little world….

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And everything darkened as the Doctor felt Rose finally accept him into her head. It hurt here. He felt the surge of loneliness overtake him. How could she stand it? Being so alone, so blackened and bruised for so long. No-one to understand, no-one to talk with. He wondered why she had never talked to him, asked the questions she needed answering but he pushed it out of his thoughts. He couldn't do that. She'd hear them herself for one thing. And, well, there was this one little thought that would probably have Jackie running after him wielding a rolling pin like an old fifties housewife. He heard Rose's faint giggle at the image he sent her. Suddenly, the room was illuminated with a white light and she was there, just a short stride away from him.

She looked happy, healthy and almost glowing with something he couldn't define. He held up a hand and waved at him, a broad smile on her face, "Hello."

He grinned along with her, waving too, "Hello." He dropped his hand from beside his head, still smiling broadly. She dropped her hand too and looked into his eyes. He felt her gaze penetrating his body. His restraint broke and he hurled himself towards her, his arms wrapping around her body tightly, her head buried in the crook of his neck. Rose's breath was hot against his skin and it made him shiver, an electric shot down his spinal cord. She was laughing against his chest, the vibration reaching his ears and making his grin broader. He felt his shirt dampen with her tears of joy and he felt tears of his own streak glisteningly down his face. His arms loosened slightly, now gripping her waist and holding her a mere three inches away from him. He studied her carefully, revelling in her shyness as he looked her over carefully. Her hands slowly crept down to cover his. She gently prised his fingers from her hips and laced them with hers.

She spoke quietly, almost afraid. "Doctor…"

"Don't," He cut her off, "Don't say you're sorry. I don't think it'd be good for either one of us. I should be sorry, I should be the one who's apologising."

She looked down, sorrow settling on her face. "Why are you sorry? I'm the one who…"

"No, Rose. It's my fault. I should've talked to you, told you what was gonna happen. My stupid fault I didn't."

She swept her thumb over his hand. "It's okay. Really. I'm fine, I am." Silence crept over them, silence dominated by tension. "What…what happened to Scott?"

He swallowed visibly and looked into her eyes, "He hurt you, Rose. He used you, took your strength from you." His hands clenched hers tighter, "He's an Emotivate life form. He feeds off negative emotions, but only very specific ones and because they're so specific, they're hard to come by. There aren't meant to be any of his kind in this timeline, he wasn't meant to be here." He sighed, "That water you were playing with by the fountain, it's called Huerotelepathic water. It reacts to your feelings, the ones you keep hidden. It acts like a link, brings them to the surface for anyone to see because they change the colour of the water."

"He used me, didn't he?" She looked down again, "I bumped into him in the market…"

His fingers caught her chin and brought her eyes up to look at his, "It's not your fault. I think he knew what he was doing; he had to, to be able to take in the link from the water. Acted like a…a…gateway to your strength."

"But what happened to him, Doctor? Why did he…" She dissolved looking away from him.

"I don't know. You shouldn't have had any side effects from the transition but…something wrong, Rose. You're trapped here and I don't know how to get you out again." Tears leaked from her eyes, burning his own eyes into oblivion. "But I promise you I will, yeah. I'll get you back. I promise." She grabbed him full on, arms holding him tighter than tight. "Trust me; please…please…just trust me." She just held him tighter.

Rose's thoughts swam with everything he said to her. One little detail played on her mind. Nagging at the back, it wouldn't settle as it twisted around and around like an irate two-year-old. They battled with her as she pushed herself away from his body, her voice laced with accusation and worry. "Doctor? How did you know I was at the fountain?" He looked down, shame faced. Her features swam with shock. "How did you know! Doctor!"

His mouth decided to glue shut.

* * *

A/N:did you understand it? It's kinda hard to explain but I tried. Thanks to all of you for reading.

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	8. Truth, Trust and Time

So, so, so, so sorry for the delay but I've been working on my other new fic, _"What We Used To Be" _shameless plug alert but I have figured out where I'm going with this one so in theory it shouldn't be hard to write. It's getting so very fluffy in this chapter and may be ever so slightly cliched but we all love it, don't we! Well, I do at least...please, read, enjoy and review in that order! Thanks in advance!

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Truth, Trust and Time

Rose felt sick to her stomach, the bile rising to her throat and burning her windpipe. It made her skin crawl to know what he'd become. He'd changed and until then she didn't realise how much he'd changed. The Doctor had become her stalker and it made her hate him just a little bit more. She stepped back from him, looking at the slip of a man projected in front of her. At least he had the decency to look ashamed of himself. Rose's voice was laced with anger and disgust, "You…you followed me?"

Her gaze was melting a hole into his head, "Rose…I…I don't know what to say."

Her eyes welled up, tears glistening, her voice a mere whisper, "Why? Why do it? Why follow me?"

"I…don't…I don't know." He swallowed and looked into her teary eyes, "I never meant to…to hurt you. You know that, right?" Rose looked away from him; up into the blankness of her mind, this couldn't be happening could it? "Rose?"

The sound of her name on his lips brought her out of her reverie. "You just keep on doing it, don't you!" The anger she felt betrayed her and came bubbling to the surface, "You keep hurting me! You keep expecting all these things of me and when I can't keep up with them...you just…you make me feel like I should be better than I am!"

He was determined now, he needed to make her see, "Rose, I know I shouldn't have followed you but I did, okay, and I'm sorry but I don't think you even like me anymore, let alone…" He cut himself off.

She was too shocked for words about the things he didn't say. Rose forced her throat open past the seal, "Let alone what, Doctor? Can't you see it still! Can't you just let me do this myself!"

The Doctor was shouting at her now, forcing her to hear him, "Let you wallow in self pity, you mean! D'you know what it's like to watch that! To watch someone you care about to death destroy themselves from the inside out!"

Rose let his naive words sink inside her blood. "Every…damn…day!" She stormed straight in front of him, fury blazing bright in her eyes, "I know what it does! I had to watch it every day before you changed! I watched you hurt yourself so much that I didn't know whether I could take it anymore! You're doing it again even now! You're hurting me and you just can't see past yourself!"

She breathed heavily, gulping down breaths of air she didn't need. He didn't know what to say. He'd been stupid; he'd run away and let his darkness and guilt overcome him. And he'd hurt Rose in the process. That was the fact that burned. "I…Rose…what do I do?"

She looked at him sadly, her anger dying out. "Tell me what to do because I just don't know anymore."

Rose sagged at her neck and looked down to the ground longingly. She felt tired, exhausted from keeping up this link. He was inside her head and he'd brought everything bubbling to the surface. She didn't know if she could hold out much longer. Rose sank her knees to the inviting floor. She felt his eyes on her sunken form, so broken and so tired, unwilling to go on any longer. "Tell me Rose," he said, voice strong, "Tell me what you feel."

He knelt down beside her, trying to be with her again. "You got that long?"

"Try me." He said with a grin that made him feel her heartache.

She smiled sadly, "I'm ashamed." She said simply. He didn't speak so she went on, filling the void of silence between them, "Ashamed that I miss him, ashamed that I don't quite… I'm scared that I don't know you anymore. You… just… seem so wrong to me yet you feel so right…I'm just…so mixed up and I can't make sense of it anymore and it hurts both of us and I…I...I can't do that to you anymore." She breathed deeply, closing her eyes. "I…I lo…" His fingers descended onto her lips and she couldn't help the burning need that was brewing inside her.

"Don't say it." He whispered, "Don't say it until you mean it. I know, Rose. I know."

Rose's tears leaked free finally.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" She said, letting everything flow freely, "I can't forget him and it hurts you and I hate myself for doing it!" Broken sobs broke free but he didn't come for her, she needed to let it out, "I can't grieve because you're not dead!"

Then he was around her and with her and comforting her, their bodies so closely locked together that no-one would know where the Doctor ended and Rose Tyler began. He just held her, the shame in his eyes of all this pent up sadness he had instilled in her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She whispered over and over into his chest like a mantra.

"Don't be, Rose. Don't hate yourself, you're amazing and I miss the old you as well. You've changed but I still…"

She looked up to him, wonder and shock in her face, "Doctor?"

"You know, right? You know?"

"Yeah," Rose whispered sadly, "I know." Her gaze drifted to the white floor beneath her. The Doctor knew she wanted, needed something, some kind of evidence of how he felt.

"Rose, look at me. Say what you see." He said. She faltered but looked up. His eyes were browner that she'd ever known. He stared into her eyes. His finger pointed to his eye.

"I." She said. She knew this game. He pointed to his chest, tracing a cross slowly over his left heart. "Love." Rose whispered. Then he pointed at her, his grin stratospheric, "You." She finished, her smile matching his. He nodded wildly and laughed.

"I love you." She repeated, "You do?" He nodded again, slowly, the smile spreading quickly across his face. Her smile matched his and she wrapped her arms around him. It was all she could offer right now, this much closeness because she could feel the tiredness wearing her down. Her mind was succumbing to exhaustion, she wanted to sleep again. To rest her head and let it catch up to her body. She felt it creeping up on her. The dull ache of her head was moving across her head. The walls and floor turned black and she felt the pain increase. It was intense by now, making her cling to the Doctor tighter, her eyes screwed up in pain. He sensed her hurt, knowing she had to sleep soon.

He whispered into her hair, "Rose, my Rose…you have to let go…let go…"

"I can't… you'll disappear…"

He smiled down into her, "I'll be on the outside when you're ready, Rose. When you wake up, I'll be there. I promise."

With a kiss pressed to her hair, the Doctor disappeared as Rose let go; the slumber claiming her tired mind once more.

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A/N: What d'you think? Too fluffy? Not fluffy enough? 


	9. Missed Perceptions

Hello! Massive apology for the lateness but I've had the week from hell because my internet broke down again. Plus I thought I was gonna be able to get everything done this week, all my writing finished but then all of my tutors give me essays to write. On the fantastic side though, Torchwood was amazing! I loved it! Never realised how much I missed Jack until I heard his voice again.

Oh, is anyone else not getting any emails from at all? I missed two chapters on my favourite fic and three review alerts because I didn't get any emails. Is this just me?

Thanks in advance. Kind of a filler chapter but it explains a lot. Hope you like! Please read and review even if I can't reply!

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Missed Perceptions

He just existed now. After feeling that amount of pain, of loneliness in her soul, he could do nothing but exist. It was all too familiar to him. Loneliness. How could she feel like that for so long with him never knowing about any of it? His long fingered hand lay limply in hers as he sat by her bedside religiously, watching her breathe slowly in and out. He'd never realised until that moment how much he needed her. Maybe more so than before he'd changed. He couldn't tell her. Maybe he never would but it didn't mean he'd never felt anything at all. Unlike some people thought, he still could love, mourn and feel like anyone else. It'd been guarded and Rose had set it free.

He thought back to when he first met her. Reluctant to trust anyone then, she'd still gotten under his skin and made him smile hard. Only mere hours into knowing her and he'd fallen despairingly in love. Rose wore him down, ripping away his armour of leather and staring straight into his soul. No ordinary human could do that, surely? What amazed him the most was that he knew she still thought of herself as stupid, primitive and a coward. Someone who wasn't his equal. He'd heard of some skewed self-perceptions in his time but none was as screwed up as his Rose's. How could anyone be so wrong about themselves? She was beautiful; inside and out. He had to make her see it one day.

One day. But now she was teetering precariously on the edge between oblivion and freedom. Stuck in her mind. That was torture. She wouldn't be able to escape her own loneliness anymore until she awoke and he showed her. This just baffled him. Why was Rose reacting like this to the transfer? Normally, the water transition was just about stable. It only reacted when there was something inside the host already. Some anomaly. He was missing something, he knew it. He just had to find it again.

_Rose…Rose…why won't you come back to me? _The Doctor thought, _why's this going so wrong? It doesn't make sense._ His eyes sunk down in defeat. He was tired. Barely able to stay awake, barely able to stay with her. He needed to move, his feet were tapping on her wooden floor. Reluctantly, he stood and took his hand away from Rose's grasp, letting her arm drop swiftly and gently towards her duvet. He looked back at her once, memorising the contours of her face before wrenching his eyes away and heading towards the kitchen, in desperate need of tea.

His footsteps pounded in his own head, each one echoing his sense of loss and loneliness. He was over nine hundred years old, a genius and he was stumped. He was fatigued, alone and mourning for Rose when she wasn't dead. _This must've been how she felt._ He thought, _how could she have stood for it? _The kitchen was unusually silent. Normally, he'd want the soft hum of the console, the sound of grinding engines and the presence of the TARDIS in his mind but now…now, he was glad for the quiet. He needed to think. He was about to switch on the kettle when he spotted the steam and smelt the familiar odour of free radicals and tannin coming from his favourite mug. Unsurprisingly, it was his favourite because Rose had bought it for him. Plain white with black lettering that said, 'Trust me, I'm a Doctor.' Clichéd but brilliant all the same. He smiled in thanks at the TARDIS, bringing the tea to his lips.

The soothing liquid swam down the Doctor's throat gloriously, calming the aching muscles lined on all sides. He moaned and stared at the ceiling as its warmth filtered towards his stomach. It spread over him and he was sated. He was still trying to think of anything to link the pieces of this puzzle together but they stubbornly didn't want to fit. He felt like grabbing a pair of scissors and cutting them until they did fit, like some kind of impatient fiver year old. He smiled. Rose always said that he acted like a kid sometimes. When she woke up, he'd have to tell her how right she was. _If she wakes up,_ he corrected himself. And it was still a big if. His sigh turned into a groan as he tried to think. Maybe it wasn't something in Rose. Maybe it was something she'd picked up. _No, _he dismissed, _the TARDIS scans for illnesses everyday. She would've told me if there was something wrong_. He took another sip and his eyes fell to the floor. _Scott, though. He could've passed something into her body through his own energy, _the Doctor thought for a moment, his tongues swirling around the tea before he swallowed it. _No. That kind of thing would've killed him and last time I looked he wasn't dead._ Damn it, could he think of nothing?!

He went through everything in his mind slowly. Everything he knew, all the facts, trying to piece everything together to make a whole. Rose needed his help and he was getting nowhere. He cursed himself inwardly as he took another sip of tea. If he just knew more, worked it out slowly then he could help her like he promised. He was determined not to break that vow to her. He wouldn't let himself. The Doctor ran a hand through his new, longer, hair. His fingertips noted the softness, the bumps on his scalp. Everything was new, so new and unused. _Well, almost everything._ He blushed and went back to his tea. _Okay, I'm going off course a bit, here. Get back on track._ He spoke aloud to anyone who would listen. "Right, Scottamanavor is an Emotivate lifeform, but this is Paris in 3010. He really shouldn't be here." He sipped again, the oiled cogs in his super-brain working overtime.

"He's been stranded, he needs to get back to his own time by using Rose's strength. His people can sense time travellers a mile away and use that background radiation as fuel to use his own teleport…" His thoughts drifted to the man's words, "_Once in a century._ That's what he said. He didn't need just any time traveller. He needed that link, that loneliness to get to her strength….but it went wrong. It was something he didn't anticipate. Their systems, her very being wasn't compatible with his so it shut his system down and left Rose trapped in her own mind." He finished solemnly.

_Why? _He thought, _why weren't they compatible? By all rights and merits, Rose should be dead by now. Almost did die…Time would've been ripped apart by him, sent scattered throughout the galaxy if it'd worked. But Rose stopped it. Something inside her is trying to keep the timeline safe by using her as a form._

It suddenly clicked in the Doctor's brain. The vortex. A part of it was still in her, acting through her to stop the anomalies. That's why he felt her pain! They were linked through her power! If Rose couldn't stop it, couldn't resist it… If she kept in her own head…her mind would be burnt out. She'd be a shell. He had to get her out.

A pained scream echoed through the TARDIS, reverberating off the walls. The mug slipped from the Doctor's loose grip and smashed on the floor, the pieces scattering everywhere. The stone cold tea flowing like blood as the Doctor ran through it.

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A/N: evil cliffhanger? You bet. You gotta keep coming back for more! Oh and I'm working on a sequel to What We Used To Be, so look out for it! Cheers and tell me what you think! 


	10. Needing and Wanting

So so so so so so so sorry for the wait but I've become immersed in Torchwood! I've seen all the episodes and their repeats so I must be really obsessed! Phew! Thanks for all the amazing reviews I've been getting (especially chapter eight! 15 reviews is the most I've ever had for a chapter in any one of my fics!) and please continue to read and review! Thanks again and slight warning here for some scenes that may alarm some people. You've been warned! Oh and must apologise for the shortness!

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Needing and Wanting

Death.

Destruction.

Pain.

Her death, her destruction, her pain. He saw them flashing in front of his mind's eye. Clear like sunlight and twice as blinding. He felt it creeping up on him. The stab of the fire knives into his body. This was her. This was what Rose was feeling. His Rose. This pain channelled from her into him, taking the pain away from him. She was trying in vain to protect him from it. It leaked into him and he landed on his knees in the corridor, a few meters from her door. A few meters from freedom. He had to help her. Had to help himself. This pain was immense. It tore at him but he inched slowly towards her door, the stabbing sensation ripping through his body, his breathing hard and heavy as it pelted him. But she had it worse, he had to remember that; Rose was feeling this worse and only he could help her.

The stabs felt deeper and he heard her scream again as he felt it too. Inch by inch he crawled to her, every breath of oxygen making it harder to pull his aching body forwards to her door. He had to help her. He cried out as a wave of pain hit him, his body curling into a ball. He rode the wave out slowly, easing it out, breathing out the pain. He couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything except for pain. As suddenly as it came, it disappeared once more. When his eyes opened, he found happiness fill him. Her door was above him, the only barrier left. Aching and nauseous, he clawed his way upright again and reached for her handle with trembling fingers. Turning it slowly, he stumbled into Rose's room and searched with red eyes for her. All he saw was the emptiness of her bed and crumpled bed sheets. He groaned and dropped to his knees, the exhaustion making his burnt body fall to the floor.

The Doctor's chocolate eyes flickered to a spot underneath her bed, on his left hand side. He smelt iron. The familiar twang of iron in the air. His stomach turned. His eye spotted the tiny trickle of blood. His ears heard another drop hit the floor. His nose smelt the fresh iron secretions. His fingers felt the vibrations on her floor as the trail grew and made its way under her bed. The Doctor pulled himself up wearily, noticing her sheets as he grabs at them for leverage. He throws the top sheet off and it glares at him like a beacon.

It's pooled and trailed to the left of her clean bed. Sickened, he forced himself to run his fingers through it. He saw a flash of matted blonde hair and cursed at himself for being so stupid. She's there. Lying twisted on her side, blood dripping from the corner of her closed, pallid lips. Her face looks hollow and haunted as he launches himself towards Rose, scooping her up into his arms and carrying her to the nearest med bay bed, away from her scene of destruction. He notices that Rose feels lighter in his arms, hollow and empty inside. He laid her down on a clean white bed and pulled her eyelids up, exposing the pupils to the harsh light. Relief poured through him as she reacted. Still alive, her single heart still beating slowly inside her chest.

He collapsed into the chair next to her bed. He couldn't do a thing anymore. This was it. The Doctor was alone. Rose was lost.

* * *

She was screaming inside her head. The screams were in vain. Rose knew he couldn't hear her for love nor money. She felt dead inside. Encased and caged inside her aching body without his smile or his eyes for company. She trusted him, she supposed. Rose knew she fancied him like mad but… was it just lust? She didn't know anymore. Everything inside her ached even thought. Vaguely, she felt a touch on her hand. A whisper of contact. A spark of hope against the oppression of doom. She clung to it helplessly and it made her mind spark. She had felt the Time Lines weave into each other and bisect. She had heard the TARDIS in her head, mending and soothing her tired mind. The rush of history flying past her, Rose's memories. Her fear, her love, her grief. All of it had rushed into her at once. At the end was love. Yes. It hurt but she had the answer now. She loved him. So simple and complicated, too. But it was all they needed. All she needed to get herself out of this tangle of gold. The cage of her own mind. 

Singing. _It's like there was this singing…_ She felt it. It calmed her mind. The onslaught of time lines ridden with anomalies had fried her to a crisp. Every little piece of information had pulsed and stabbed at her body like a knife. Rose knew he felt it too, was joined to her and had tried despairingly to keep the pain away from him, forced her body to take the brunt of it. She thought she'd rather die than see him in pain, feel him in pain. She heard his agonised breaths in her mind calling to her and adding to her guilt. It was why she existed now, to save him. She'd done it before; saved him from himself. And now, she could save him from her.

She felt her body shutting down and rebelled against it. Felt the blood seeping from her mouth and the gash on the back of her head. She'd thrashed around in her bed, falling far and hitting the corner of her skull on her bedside table. She was glad she wasn't awake for that. She should be dead, really. Actually, Rose had no idea why she was still alive. She wasn't important. Just Rose. Just Rose Tyler. Just Rose Tyler who loved the man with no name and his changing face. Rose felt his fingers curl around hers tightly.

He loved her and she loved him and that was all she needed.

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A/N: Okay, hands up, who thinks the Doctor's really given up on her? No-one? Nah, me neither! Review please! 


	11. Human Living

Hello!

Phew! Finally put this up and to compensate for the wait, it's a bit longer than the last one :D Hope you like it! Quite a bit fluffy because you asked for it. Never been that good at fluff so ConCrit is welcome! Please do read and review. Dedicated to timano, saiyamar and WhisperLuna for brilliant reviews!

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Human Living

Warm water dripped lightly down Rose's neck, leaving a glistening path as it trailed down her skin. The sodden, snow-white cloth was soft against his fingers as the Doctor swiped it over her lips and clavicle, removing the stained trails her blood had left behind. He watched her from the corner of his darkened eyes for any flicker of life that emanated from her body. He'd take anything at this point. As silence filled the room once more, he sighed and trailed his fingers over the hollowed contours of her face. He traced the outline of her nose softly, the tip of her nose brushing against the tips of his fingers. He memorised everything.

His fingers trailed over to her left eye. He stroked the lashes of her upper eyelids gently with one finger, electricity sparking in his skin at the touch. The sockets of her eye felt deeper than he was used to as he traced their outline, moving his fingers to trace over her eyebrow and trail down the left side of her face, his hand moving slightly to cup her cheek.

His eye sparked with sadness, love and lust for his lost Rose. His eyes became fixated on her lips, their fullness and slight redness a beautiful contrast to her smooth, paler skin. Sweat and water beaded on her forehead as his fingers traced her brow lightly in figure eights. Her breathing hitched slightly then evened as his fingers moved against his will to trace the cupid's bow of her luscious top lip. He watched her nostrils flare, their movement hypnotising him as she breathed steadily. He willed her, _'Please… please… wake up… come back…' _as her chest rose and fell in synch with her breathing.

The Doctor's fingers circled Rose's lips lightly and traced the seam in between them where her blood had seeped not even three hours before this moment. He refused to move for anything. He just watched her, towered over her as she dreamed. His left hand reached down tentatively and traced the outline of her fingers before lacing them together with hers and stoking the pad of his thumb over her bruised knuckles, gained from her fall. The sensitive fingers of his right hand continued to trace her lips, his thumb brushing her bottom lip in a mirror movement of his other thumb. It was at that moment it happened.

She twitched. He felt it in their interlocked hands. Her fingers gripped the top of his hand tightly for a split second then released. It was hope and it was beautiful. His voice cracked as he spoke, "Rose? Rose?" Nothing. She slept on. But the Doctor knew she could hear him. "Rose, you have to wake up. Please. You can't lose, not now… it's not right… besides, we need you back. The TARDIS misses you. Misses your laugh, your smile… the way you poke your tongue out in between your teeth when you're thinking of something fun. It's who you are and she misses you." He took a deep breath and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I miss you."

His face turned straight towards hers, looking at her peaceful features carefully. She was beautiful to his eyes. Strong, brave, amazing. Stubborn, childish and she was prone to bouts of jealousy... _'That's the pot calling the kettle black.' _He thought. But still he needed her, wanted to keep her alive, keep her by his side for as long as he could. He loved her, now he knew; just when she could be taken away from him. Slowly, he lowered his lips towards hers, brushing them feather light across hers.

The Doctor was finally kissing his sleeping beauty.

Her eyes snapped open as his lips pressed harder onto hers. He felt her startle and pulled away, a manic grin and a blush spreading across his face. She gasped in deep breaths, sucking in air as her eye widened and she struggled to find her voice, "Doc… Doctor… I…"

His smile softened, "Shhh… Rose, it's okay."

She breathed deeply and sat up gingerly, wincing at the throb still left in her head, "Doctor… how… why…" Her eyes sparking with gold, "what's happening?"

His lips came down on hers suddenly, softly and sweetly, leaving her feeling washed with happiness. He broke off reluctantly, "I kissed you, that's what happened."

She blushed deep red and he relished the colour coming back to her once snowy face, "Well… y'know, not that I'm complaining but… erm… why are you kissing me?"

"I wanted to." He said simply.

Rose gazed at him, the throb from the back of her head coming back to haunt her. It intensified and she clutched the back of her head hesitantly. She brought her fingers to her eyes and tried to focus as she felt the sticky warmth plastered there. Her gold tinged eyes focused and she saw the flash of bright red, "Doctor," She saw he was staring at her fingers in shock, "I think you missed a spot."

She swayed where she sat, starting to fall back towards the bed before he caught her shoulders and steadied her. "Rose? Rose, are you okay?"

"Just…hurts…" She said through gritted teeth and blinding pain.

"I know… breathe and stay awake…" He saw Rose's eyes drift and flutter, "No, Rose, stay awake, talk to me."

She breathed heavily, gripping his hand where it was still attached to her shoulder, "What… d'you wanna…" She gasped as his fingers probed her head for the wound, "talk about, then?"

He looked into her eyes, concerned, "What's your best memory, Rose? Tell me all about it. I want to hear everything."

She gasped again as water sloshed over her head, "I was…eight, I think and… mum…" She cried out as he hit a sore spot, "Mum was taking me to school… She said it was Dad's day… I remember her crying… I was standing in front of everyone, explaining why I was the only one with… without a… dad."

"What did you tell them?" She sighed, content as she felt soothing cream on her scalp and a bandage wrapping around. Her eyes drifted shut for a second, "Rose, no! Stay awake for now. I want to know, tell me the story."

"Not much to tell." She said as she opened her eyes.

He grinned, "Then make it up."

She smiled slowly, "Okay. Mum said that I stood up in front of the whole class and told them the truth. She… she said… that… erm… I told them a poem about him and me… I never really believed her." She finished grinning. "What about you? What's your favourite memory?"

To her surprise, he blushed and stammered, "I… I don't think we really need to hear about that, then. Do we?" He added hopefully.

"Come on! I told you mine, now you tell me yours."

He stared at her for a second before summoning up his courage, "This girl… beautiful, blonde haired, brown eyed girl. You'd like her. Stubborn as hell but so brave. She… she grabbed my hand and told me she was happy she met me. We were in this dungeon in Cardiff, 1869. My god, she was beautiful."

"For a human…" Rose added, smiling knowingly.

He cocked his head and looked confused, "Who said anything about her being human?" He grinned. Rose whacked his arm jokingly and fell backwards onto her bed, grinning at him like a maniac.

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A/N: Well, d'you want the next part or not? I'm evil and I like it :D 


	12. Human Dying

I know I keep saying this but apologies again for the wait! I'm getting all angsty again so be warned. Thanks for all the amazing reviews so far, you've broken the 100 review mark! Congratulations to all of you so this chapter is dedicated to reviewers; the people who make us writers want to write on! Hope you enjoy!

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Human Dying

Rose looked up at him hovering above her sore and bloodied head. Maybe. Just maybe she loved him for him, not for who he used to be. As she looked at his smiling face, her vision swam suddenly and she tried to focus. The brown-blurred form of the Doctor was balancing on the edge between sharp and hazy with every forced blink. She heard a faint voice somewhere in the distance above her head and realised it was him, yelling at her to stay awake, screaming at her to stay with him. Rose wished he'd be quiet for once; her head hurt, didn't he know that? She felt his hands on her shoulders and he jerked her sharply, sending her head into another round of throbs.

Rose began to worry. These felt familiar. It'd been happening on and off since he'd regenerated. Her head-aches. This wasn't the knock-on-the-head kind of throb that she'd felt at the back of her skull. This pain was burning her from the inside out, making her skin glow from the force of the heat. She felt his cold hand touch her forehead and screamed when it made contact. The sudden wash of cold had burnt her skin raw, making it blister under the harsh fluorescent blue light. Rose felt the tears leak out from her eyes and track their way down her reddened cheeks, the skin burned hard and blinding pain swam over her consciousness. She breathed heavily through the sting and forced it deep underneath her being, to the darkness and forced it to stay there.

Her eyes focused slower than dripping misty water. The first thing she saw was his face, stricken with panic and darkened, hollow eyes. She felt like retching but dared not move for fear of renewed aches. His voice sounded broken, dark and wavering as he spoke to her carefully and quietly, "Rose? How d'you feel?"

She swallowed the bile backed up in her throat, "I… better… I think." She swallowed again and breathed deeply. "What's going on? What happened?"

"I was hoping you could tell me, actually." He fixed her with a piercing stare, fired and hot enough to melt ice, "What is it that you haven't been telling me? How long has this been going on, Rose?"

She looked away, shamed, "I… it's…" the familiar wave of pain swept over her mind and drew her in for a second before throwing her back out. "I… they keep coming. I don't know what it is, Doctor…" she gritted her teeth and slammed her eyes shut as another wave hit her. "Ever since you… changed… I kept having these pains in my head… in my mind…" She breathed heavily and looked him in the eye, "Didn't think anything of it at first, but they kept getting worse with every one that hit." She felt the next one build up and faced it head on. It crashed over her with magnitude, tears leaking and a small pained gasp escaping from her lips. "What's happening? Please tell me what's happening…"

He looked down on her. So fragile, so young, so precious. He knew what was happening. Had worked it out, eventually. Her head-aches weren't really head-aches. They were worse than that. He'd never felt angrier. He gritted his teeth hard and electric blue sparks shot out of his eyes at the anger. "They're psychic spasms, Rose. They get worse and worse the longer you leave them. It's like a tsunami. It builds and builds and builds until…" He swallowed the sickness back into his body. She had a right to know. He couldn't lie. He wouldn't lie. "It builds up until it destroys everything."

He winced at the frightened look on her face. "What's causing it?"

"The time lines." He said simply, dropping down into the seat beside her. "The anomalies in the time lines are building up and making your mind spasm out of control. Your body just can't handle the strain anymore. It's… it's shutting down slowly, starting with your mind."

Rose whispered as her head turned towards him, eyes screwed shut. "Did I make it worse?" He didn't answer. Just stared at a space above her head, teeth gritted. "Doctor!" She yelled and he snapped his eyes back to hers. She recoiled at the sight of his blackened orbs. The fiery anger she saw there made her pain scream at her.

He exploded, "Yes!" The Doctor's breaths came hard and fast, his hearts pumping his blood harder than ever. "Why didn't you say anything, Rose?! I could've helped you! I could've saved you…" his voice went deathly quiet, "I should've saved you."

She was stunned. "When is it… how long… this had to happen…"

"But it doesn't! He snapped, "It doesn't _have _to happen! I could stop it! I want to stop it! I have to stop it!"

"You can't, though." No longer a question. A statement. She knew. "You said so yourself."

He stared at her. "You're just giving up?! No! No, I won't let you give up on yourself, Rose! You're too good for this!"

"But you can't do anything about it! It's going to happen!"

"Stop it! Stop saying that! I can't lose you! It's too soon, there's so much I haven't said!"

"Then say it!" She stood before him, inches in front of his face, eyes browner than chocolate and twice as sweet. He didn't want to lose that.

"Rose… I can't. I can't."

She looked at him sadly, hurting more from his denial than any pain in the world. "Because you don't. That's right, isn't it that? You just… don't." She looked down dejectedly, her hands gripping the blood-stained sheets that covered the med bay bed, her knuckles turning white and her knees weakening from the onslaught. They buckled beneath her and she collapsed face-first onto the cold tiled floor. Rose smelt him next to her, kneeling next to her as he called her name, not daring to touch her. Rose smelt the engine oil, the citrus twang and shaving foam from his face so close to hers as she breathed through the stabbing sensation. "Make it stop… _please_!"

"Rose? Rose? Come on, Rose, don't give up on me. Remember, remember that I need you. Come on, Rose!" She turned on the floor and he saw the burn on her forehead, the perfect shape of his palm. His bent finger scraped the side of her cheek and she yelled out in pain, the skin beneath his touch blistering once more.

Rose screamed at the top of her voice, shying away from his touch. "Please! Stop it! Please! It hurts!"

His eyes sprang tears and he realised what was happening, it filled him with fear.

_'How can I do this? How can I save her when I can't even touch her?'_

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A/N: Now, if any of you have read_ 'You Don't Know'_, the sequel will be out tomorrow, maybe Monday.

A/N 2: Don't hate me, I love angst and it's what I do best. Review and I'll throw in some fluff next few chapters, I promise!


	13. Rewarding Work

Hiya! Sorry if you didn't get the last update but because of sod's law, the email system on broke just as I was updating. Hopefully won't happen again, fingers crossed. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! Keep them coming! Also, this chapter contains some innuendo... that makes some people happy but if not, don't read it. :D

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Rewarding Work

Then it stopped. There was silence. There was nothing. Rose's back flattened against the ground, the last of the stabs of torture dying away. They left her breathing shallowly, cowering away from the Doctor's bare skin. Tears tracked down her face. He caused her pain. The one thing he'd always promised he'd never do was hurt her. He said he'd protect her and now she was burning from the inside out. The only sound that crept into the room now was the shallow breathing that emanated from her body. It didn't hurt anymore but she didn't know what was worse; the waiting or the dying. _I'm not dying, _Rose thought, _I'm already dead._ Her eyes flickered open and she saw him naked for the first time. Vulnerable. Real and unguarded. The fear that shone from him blinded her and she couldn't look him in the eye any longer. She turned her head, ashamed that she had brought that to his face. She pushed herself up from the suddenly cold tiled floor and leant against the strut of the bed, exhaustion and fatigue overtaking her.

She was tired, so tired of doing this. Pretending he hadn't ever hurt her. She couldn't protect him anymore from what he'd done to her and what she'd done to herself. She'd changed, pure and simple. Become someone – something – different. Now she couldn't look at him for all the pain it caused. She cursed herself when her voice sounded as broken as she felt, "Why can't you touch me?"

He was kneeling in front of her staring at the spot she had just laid on, the image of her convulsing in the pain he caused had been burned into his memory. "Why can't you touch me?" She repeated.

He looked up at her slowly and she forced her hollowed eyes to fix onto his, "It's a part of me. It's in my blood. The knowledge of all the mistakes in history are in my blood and it's speeding it up." He glanced down at his own hands in disgust as he saw the unmarked flesh, "I can't touch you Rose, my skin's bursting with energy and it wants to join with that same energy in you. It's bringing it to the surface to make the link. My skin, my touch. It's making you burn." The sheer intensity in his face made her recoil further back into the bed strut.

She swallowed heavily and summoned up all the courage within her, "How… long have I got left before?" He stared at her darkly, his eyes penetrating her soul.

He said nothing. Didn't blink. He didn't even seem to breathe. Just stared at her hard, trying to think of a way around this. He couldn't touch her skin to his. He felt helpless. "Don't you dare talk like that."

"It's… it's true, though," She stuttered, "I can see that look in your eyes. There isn't a way out this time."

"There's always a way out!" He stood up suddenly, a grin spread across his face, ripping open drawers, extracting bandages and wrapping them around his thin fingers. Rose watched from the floor as his previous anger turned into manic energy. He wound his fingers in the gauze one by one, grabbing another one and wound it round his palm and wrist. Soon, both his hands were wrapped so tight in the white bandages that he felt the blood supply to them dim and stutter but didn't care. Rose's eyes widened as she saw him extended his hand towards hers where she was propped up on the floor.

He noticed the flicker of hesitance in her eyes and willed with all his might that this would work. She reached out hesitantly towards his hand with her finger tip, grazing it against the inside of his palm. She'd braced herself for the flicker of pain but none came. Smiling weakly, she slid her hand into his and clasped it tightly. He pulled her gently to her feet, her other hand grasping at the bed sheets that still adorned the bed. He grinned maniacally up at her and held her hand tightly in his. Rose felt like she was soaring, the hope flame ignited in her body. His grin was infectious and soon she felt it spreading across her face. He helped Rose sit on the edge as swung her feet off the edge, his hand held even tighter in hers.

"What do we do?" She asked hesitantly, looking up at him.

His shock registered as the hollowed contours of her face fell in deeper with the asking of the question, "_I'm _going to run some tests first." He picked up a hand held scanner from the table beside her bed, his bandaged fingers fumbling slightly with the buttons on the surface, "It's the only way I can help right now." He looked at her directly, serious now, "lay back and relax, Rose…" She complied and lay back slowly against the bed.

"What does this thing do, then?"

He smiled at her inquisitiveness briefly before turning back to the scanner, "It registers the cellular decay inside your body." The scanner beeped in his hand, and he stared hard at the screen before looking back up to her.

She knew it was bad. Even when they were in deep trouble, he was always his grinning, manic self. Now there was nothing on his face except blankness. "What? What is it?"

He swallowed visibly, not wanting to say this, "Your cells are decaying at three times the normal rate for a human."

She cocked her head at him, eyes narrowing. "What does it mean?"

"It means that this is impossible. Even with the power you have inside of you, your decay shouldn't be this fast." His face suddenly split into the familiar huge grin "It has to be near!"

"And that's a good thing?" Rose asked, confused.

"It means I can track it down! I can change the time line back to the way it was! I can stop it!"

Her face lit up and Rose wanted to kiss him in that moment. Desperately. But knew he never would. She settled for the tightness in her heart as his hand reclaimed hers. "How d'you track something like that down?"

"Luckily for us, Rose Tyler, we've already met our anomaly. I do believe he's lying unconscious in his own café." He grinned, "Never good that, sleeping on the job. You'd never do it! And even if you did, I'd make sure you made it up to me."

She laughed and blushed as he winked at her. "D'you know something?" He shook his head and she yawned widely, making it obviously fake. "I'm exhausted. I might fall asleep on you yet."

They grinned at each other lusciously. "You'd better make it worth my while, then." His eyes darkened at the words they exchanged. They finally had something to battle for and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to reap the rewards.

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A/N: Well, well, well... how much do you love me right about now? Also, Soul Songs readers might be glad to know that I'm in the pre-production of a sequel, my main focus being our own Captain Jack. Anyone interested or am I wasting my time? 


	14. Beautiful Darkness

Here it is, on time for once. I love this chapter because it was so easy to write so I hope you love it too. I can't believe I've got 124 reviews for this already, it means so much to me that you like it because you keep me writing. Dedicated to Jen for her consitent reviews that made me smile so far that you'd think the Grand Canyon was on my face. This one is angsty, beware!

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Beautiful Darkness

Falling.

Falling into darkness. Stumbling into death. Flying into despair once again. Spiralling out of control, he has no grip, no tight hold on her thread anymore. All it takes is a pair of scissors in anyone's hand and that thread of her life could be severed. He couldn't let her go. Not again, not ever again. Her thread was fragile and brittle and thin. He wouldn't risk, he couldn't risk _her_. No. He'd decided. She couldn't come with him, not ever. It's too much for him and he's swamped and flooded by everything. He looked at her. She's there and she's alive and he's happy but he knows happiness doesn't last for long. The Doctor stretched it out as far as it can go. It's elastic. It can stretch and stretch but eventually the strain will show and it'll snap and hurt more than anything in the universe.

She looked hollowly at him, the fluorescent light shining on her pale, red marked skin, making the burns on er face glow and the dark circles under her eyes become like beacons that call to his rational side. He eventually spoke, his throat caught up in everything he'd thought; "You can't come, Rose. I can't let him near you."

Rose looked on, her mouth gaping slightly and the worry back in her eyes like an injection, "You can't do this on your own. You need me there. What if something happens and he hurts you and I'm not there to help?"

He looked down at his converses, shuffling slightly. He knows she's right but won't ever admit to it, "He won't hurt me, I'm a Time Lord; he's got nothing on me." He breathed and sighed heavily before meeting her worried eyes again. "I just can't take the risk of him getting his hands on you again. I won't let it happen, yeah. That's a promise."

"I know but…" She struggled to find the right words, "But if… what if…"

"I'll come back. I promise I will, I promise. Besides," He added, indifferently, "I need someone to look after the TARDIS. She's gone through a bit of a battering lately, haven't you old girl?" He patted the wall affectionately and snapped his hand away as the wall turned burning hot underneath his skin. "That was uncalled for!"

Rose sniggered slyly, "Well if you will insist on talking about a lady's age, she'll get you back for it."

But the Doctor was staring at the wall, his angry red palm print emblazoned on the wall, eerily like the mark on Rose's head. He realised in that moment he didn't have long. It was a warning. The TARDIS was mimicking Rose's body to show him he didn't have long. Hours, minutes; if that. Order one wake-up call for the last Time Lord.

Smiling again, he spun and turned to Rose, sitting on the bed, her legs swinging absentmindedly and her focus trained on him. "Sooner rather than later, I think. I should get going." He turned and headed towards the door.

"Doctor, wait." He stopped and spun towards her again. He stared to feel like one of those ballerinas at the Cirque Du Soleil. "If you don't…"

"I will, though, Rose, I will."

She sighed, "But if you don't, which is like a six billion to one chance, right?" She smirked, "Just remember I love you and I trust you… I wouldn't have missed it for the world." She raised his clothed hand and brushed her lips tentatively across the taught fabric.

"Go back to bed, Rose. When you wake up it'll be alright again. Promise." Her last glimpse of him as she lay back down on the bed was the blur of brown pinstripe and the sweet reek of engine oil he whipped out of the door without a second glace. She shut her eyes and willed with all her might for his safety. Nothing was more important in the world.

* * *

He'd whirled out of that door and ran faster than he'd ever remembered running. His feet pounded the cold, hard stone floor of Paris in the early hours of the morning. Barely a soul around. The fluttering of fallen leaves and the rustle of old litter on the ground. The smell of old food and the stench of decay in the air. Everywhere dead and deserted. He'd never liked when it was like this. He wanted life and excitement and hustle and bustle and assorted commotions. Anarchy was his style this time around as he'd discovered. More tactile, more open, more a living being than a walking dead one. That was him this time around. And she loved him for it. He'd be damned if he was going to let her get away. Cut that thread and you'd better kill him, because your life wouldn't be worth living. 

He slammed the café doors open, not even bothering to use the sonic. He rushed into the back, pushing and punching desperately on the door. Fingernails pried at the false wood, scrapes and gaping gashes left in the once pure softness. He scrambled into his pockets, digits searching for… '_snap'._ The sound of a safety catch being clicked off behind his head. The familiar pressure of the blunt, circular end jammed against the join between his neck and skull. A deep rasping voice, hoarse from under use, "Don't move."

He did as he was told and stayed stock still but formed a grin anyway, "Ah… now I wonder who that would be? What was his name? Erm… Stan? Steve? Sam? Although, strictly speaking that could be a girl's name too. But then I'm assuming you're male. You could be female or omniparted or have no gender at all for all I know. But let's say for argument's sake you're male… erm… Sebastian? I'm not even close am I?"

He felt the hot sticky breath on the back of his neck. "Don't you want to keep your promise to Rose?" The Doctor visibly shook and he heard the laughter coming from behind him. "Yes, that's right, Doctor. I know all about it."

The Doctor's teeth gritted fiercely, "That was none of your business. You shouldn't listen in on other people's conversations. Didn't your mother ever tell you that eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves?"

The Doctor felt the strength of the hands on his shoulders turn him, "Ahh! Scott! I thought it might've been you? How've you been then, mate?"

"Better actually, Rose did a lot of good for my blood. I'll be getting her back any minute now. That connection's still there" His voice dropped to an intense whisper, "I can still acquire what I need from her. You can't turn back the clock anymore Time Lord. Not like you did for my family all those years ago."

He was genuinely curious now, "What does that mean? Do I know you?"

"Not yet… and now you never will."

He felt the trigger being pulled.

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A/N: the pre production plot on the Soul Songs sequel (try saying that when you're drunk, Jack Harkness) is almost ready and I'm about to start writing it, so be on the look out in the next few weeks. 


	15. Rebirth Reincarnate

I'm apologising again for the wait, but as luck would have it, I'm ill again. I've caught something off my friend that made my throat feel as if a brick's been shoved down it. It's that sore. But to make myself happy, I wrote the next chapter as a Christmas present to every person who's reviewed. They've been getting thinner on the ground recently but I'm not that worried. I know at least soem people like this. So without further adue... (and with Amelie in the background) here is chapter fifteen...

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Rebirth Reincarnate

Everything went in slow motion.

A part of his brain recognised the cliché but didn't seem to care. Straight ahead of him was a massive bullet hole in the wood of the door. It had just passed through him as if he were a ghost. No pain, no wound, no death. No nothing. It was like he had an armoured tunnel through his neck. He felt Scott move off him and he turned to face the man, his own eyes wide as he felt around his head. Nothing was there. Not a mark, not a scratch. No burnt skin from ion residue, no bruise from forced air. There was just the normal, perfect skin. Slightly pale and freckled skin but perfect; even if he did say so himself. This wasn't just weird. This was off the scale weird. Think how weird something could be then amplify it by a hundred and you might just about come close to how weird this was. Scott was backed up against the opposite wall, gun wavering in two clenched hands, the barrel still pointed at the Doctor. His eyes were wide with fear. "What the hell are you?"

One hand still felt around his neck as he spoke casually, "See, there's the thing, I'm not quite sure at the moment." He advanced towards the opposing wall and Scott backed up harder against it, "I think I'm a Time Lord. I think I'm the last of the Time Lords. I hope to any higher power that I'm male. Being female doesn't really appeal to me. Mostly just because it doesn't appeal to Rose, although that would be nice…" He stared off into a space above Scott's head for a moment, "But still, I'm glad I'm male. I am male, right?" Scott didn't respond. "Fine. Have it your way then. Stunned silence it is."

The Doctor hummed quietly to himself before Scott loosened up a little and dropped the gun to his side. "Why did you come back then? If I'm a threat to you and your precious little human why come walking back here?"

The Doctor's head canted to the side, studying him, "You honestly don't know? You just don't know why I'm here?" Scott shook his head dumbly, "You didn't think that I'd come back here to find out? Wow. I'd heard the Manavors were naïve, but you take the biscuit, mate. Did you not think that I'd want to find out why your connection's still hurting her?"

Scott gasped, a malicious grin spreading across his face as he realised, "Hurting? Oh… That's why. That's why! Oh yes, that's why! Is the guilt eating you up yet?"

His hand mussed his hair. "What are you blathering on about now?"

"You haven't worked it out completely yet, have you? Think about it. Human girl plus time vortex plus last Time Lord. What does it equal?"

"A long, rambling trip to verbal nowhere?"

Scott looked at him, confused for a second. "No. It equals the greatest thing in the universe. Pure and unadulterated power. So strong it has to take one part of the equation away to keep the other strong. Oh, this is too good to be true! The Bad Wolf has risen! And I'm right here to take it!"

It was the Doctor's turn to back off into the back wall, shocked at the amount of want painted across Scott's features. "How do you know about Bad Wolf? It was eradicated! I made sure of it!"

Scott looked down at his hands. Glowing gold again. "I've lucked out. Best luck in the world. Maybe Havoria's smiling on me today."

"How do you know of Bad Wolf?!" The Doctor repeated.

"A message woven throughout history. A warning and a beacon wrapped in tiny human girl. Thread fragile and thin. I have the scissors to cut her, Doctor. I've been blessed!" He raised his hands. "Can't you feel it? Time is being taken away from you. No TARDIS, no travelling anymore. There'll be nothing left when it's complete."

"When what's complete?"

"The transfer."

The Doctor screeched with impatience, "Bloody evil villains, always off into some great monologue of a riddle that no even I can unwrap. D'you mind doing me a tiny favour and telling me what's going on here?"

"Not at all, Doctor. I'm taking what's left of Rose's power. I spose, you could call me Bad Wolf. Course, Rose can keep those injuries you gave her. Haven't really got a fixation on death right now. Not when I've suddenly got everything I've ever wanted right in the palms of my hands."

The Doctor ran. Had to get away from him. Had to find Rose. Not dead. She won't die. Scott won't cut that thread. If he gets his hands on that kind of power, anything could happen. He won't risk the universe again. Whole species could be obliterated. If he didn't stop it, there would be nothing he could do. He had one chance and this was it. He felt the footsteps pounding behind him, Scott racing to get to Rose before he could. No. No, he couldn't let it happen again. He couldn't lose her so soon after getting her back. She'd be dead and it'd be his entire fault. The images of her eyes, soulless and blank flared into his mind and he doubled his pace.

The Doctor flung himself back into the Med Bay, Rose lying in a heap on the floor. Silent tears were seeping past her defences and he could see that image of soulless eyes slowly becoming a reality. He scooped her up into his arms protectively, hearing the nearing footfalls beyond the door. No escape. Nowhere to hide. The TARDIS' strength was being sucked out, Rose's thread was being hacked and at the back, he could feel the twists of time being obliterated as it came to nothing. He had no defences. All he had was a broken Rose Tyler cradled in his arms, the feel of her life pouring out of her achingly slowly. The footsteps came harder. The sound of everything he'd ever needed was breaking into a million pieces. The door came crashing open and Scott glowed with power as he advanced towards Rose. The TARDIS defences were gone. Nothing could stop this being. The Doctor looked down at Rose and settled her on the floor. He whispered the three words he'd always wanted to say to her. Leaning in close to her ear, his voice broken once last time, _"I love you."_ He kissed her lips and met Scott head on.

The Doctor didn't notice that her skin no longer burned at his touch. Nor did he notice the flicker of her fingers, or the movement of her eyes.

He didn't see the Bad Wolf being reborn again.

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A/N: Shameless cliffy, but hey, I need more reviews! So vote here. Rose lives or Rose dies to save the Doctor. Your choice right here! 


	16. Armies In The Fire

I really feel bad about leaving this update so long. I was ill before during and after Christmas, so I lacked a bit of enthusiasm. And anyone else who had to do A Level exams in the first two weeks of January know how much a pain in the backside it is. A bit comical in this chapter but, believe me, it gets darker. The quote and the title are from Robert Louis Stevenson. Reviews are welcome as always.

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Armies In The Fire

The Doctor stood tall and proud in front of her reddened eyes. Her sight level with his converses as he stepped in front of her and Rose knew in that moment that he loved her. She didn't know what was happening but she felt it in her veins; it just couldn't be a bad thing. He'd kissed her lips and they hadn't burnt. She felt warmth spread throughout her body from her stomach to her scalp and the tips of her toes. Still lying on the cold floor, she was aware of his soothing voice ahead of her vaguely. Rose focussed on the sound, slightly far away and echoing around her sore head. "This is going to end. I promise you that. You've hurt her. You've put this entire planet in jeopardy and I will not let you get away with it. Not anymore." Rose sat up slowly, pushing all her weight in her arms. Her mahogany eyes settled on the man in front of her, his stance imposing and wide and she could imagine that hard, determined look set in his face. Those dark chocolate eyes, angry and wild. She'd seen it many times before and his eyes were one of the things that hadn't changed when he had. The colour was different, the shape, the creases around them were all different. But that blazing gaze was just as strong as it had ever been. The gaze that said he held no more mercy. Blazing hot eyes that still twinkled when she made him laugh. Each moment she cherished like it was their last, for she knew it could be.

His voice still sounded strong and unwavering as she sat up stronger, her arms no longer wobbly, her body no longer aching. She was reborn. It was simple and beautiful but he had made her complete. Rose spoke with a depth that shocked even her, "Doctor."

He turned slowly to stare at her, his eyes now lit up with that teenage glee, "Rose! But you were… I was sure you were…"

"I thought I was too. I spose all I needed was a Doctor." She grinned and stuck her tongue into the corner of her mouth, just how she knew he liked. He mirrored her smile and brought her swiftly into a bone crushing hug. She was whole again and it felt just _fantastic._ He loved her and she loved him. That was enough for her.

Suddenly a harsh voice interrupted their little pool of bliss, "Oh for Havoria's sake would you two give it a rest?! I've met green Verbatian cell spores with better attack plans than you! No wonder you're always being separated!"

The Doctor broke the hug, reluctant to let go. He pushed Rose behind him protectively, "How d'you know about us?"

"Please! You're the worst kept secret in the Universe! Torchwood was more of an enigma than you two and the entire solar system knows about them! You really are complete boohockey, you know that?"

"Boohockey?" Rose muttered to the Doctor

He turned briefly to her and lowered his gaze, "Swear filter again."

"Ah. You know I am nineteen…" She counted on her fingers, "Nah, must be about twenty years old, I can take a bit of swearing now and then."

He smiled, "You don't have to tell me, tell the TARDIS. I'm not the one who controls the swear filters, she is."

Rose slapped his arm lightly, sounding incredulous. "Oh come off it, Doctor, you must know how to turn it off."

He rubbed his arm dramatically, "I don't, she won't let me. And that hurt, Rose Tyler!"

"Oh it did not, you big baby!" She rubbed his arm anyway and smiled up at him.

Scott stared unwavering at them. "If I might interrupt?!"

Rose and the Doctor both burst out laughing, "Oh my god, do all comic evil villains use the same catchphrase? What d'you think, Doctor?"

"Well, something in this universe has to be constant. Either that or he's a savage Sycorax murderer in disguise." He looked at Scott, a weird little smirk on his face, "You're not, are you?"

Scott looked the Doctor up and down, "That old English phrase comes to mind; pot calling the kettle black. From what I hear of you, Doctor, you're a savage killer yourself. Just like that Sycorax leader you murdered. The killer of his own kind, isn't that what they call you nowadays?"

The darkly wild glint appeared in his eye. Rose saw it and stepped by his side, angered at this stupid little boy. "You know nothing of me. All you have are rumours."

"I know what she means to you." He gestured towards Rose. "I know that extreme you're willing to go to if it means she's safe. Even if you have to give her back to her mother, as long as she was safe, you'd do anything." He stepped close to the Doctor, "Every man has an Achilles heel, Doctor. And every one of your enemies knows yours before you've even met them." He was now nose to nose with the rock steady Doctor. Both of them weren't moving. Not even seemed to be breathing or blinking. Neither moved a muscle.

Finally, the Doctor spoke. His eyes were wide and livid, his voice harsh and snapping. He was pure anger. "_Armies march by tower and spire of cities blazing, in the fire; till as I gaze with staring eyes, the armies fall, the lustre dies._" His fingers grasped out for Rose's hand, his face intense, "You don't know a thing about me, little boy. Run home to daddy and tell him that I set you free. Be small and insignificant. Treasure it while you can because I'll come to back, one day, to find _you_ and come for _you_ and _force_ _you_ to see what I've seen. Make you do what I've done. Then, if there's anything left of your sanity, you can tell me how I'm supposed to live. Why I'm allowed to exist!"

He left the fear-frozen Scott standing dumbstruck in the room, his hand in an iron grip with Rose's as he half-dragged her along behind him.

Nothing would be the same again.

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A/N: Well, I didn't kill anyone. I did get a bit dark, though. Enough? 


	17. Cuts and Bruises

Okay, I'm putting this one out now before I lose my bottle and wimp out. It's dark. Very dark and has references (though not graphic) to self harming. I don't mean to offend anyone. This is just my interpretation. I would sorely like your opinion, so please do review. After all, it is my birthday next Tuesday, so think of it as a present to me. Thank you and don't lose hope. I don't intend for this to end sadly.

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Cuts and Bruises

For the first time in her life, Rose Tyler was scared.

That look slapped onto his face was far too alien for her to comprehend. Too alien for her to like. She didn't understand it. He scared her more than anything else in the universe would right now. But she held tighter onto his hand and she could _feel _the painful power underneath his new skin. She didn't want to let go. She was scared for the Doctor. For what he could become if she let go of that white-knuckled hand.

Rose Tyler let herself be dragged behind him. She was too afraid to look at his expression right now. But she knew what she'd find if she did. Not anger, not rage, not even fear. Rose knew that if she looked into his eyes right that second all she'd find was blank, dark nothingness. That one simple notion scared the living crap out of her. To look and find nothing on his face was too familiar, too dark and frightening for her to take on in this moment. Yet. She wouldn't let go of his hand. He pushed and waded through the crowd of people in the market, the many different species parting willingly. They were obviously frightened of this man before them. He was parting the crowd as if they weren't there. Rose wasn't entirely sure that he even recognized their existence.

He led her silently until they rounded the final corner. He dropped her hand like it burnt his, leaving it to hang by her side. His shoulders shook as he opened the door to the TARDIS and stepped inside without a word. She followed him and found her shoulders were shaking too as she saw him by the console, his back to her, his whole body bathed in golden light. She just stared as he set the controls around the console. Rose just stared at him, lucid and frozen as her gaze finally travelled up to his face.

She was so shocked that she stumbled backwards, into the door. Her heart broke as she saw his cheeks stained with tears. His skin tainted by wetness. His eyes were blank and dark but she saw past the false shell and looked deeper. She walked up to him slowly. Her footsteps towards him made the Doctor's head snap up then loll back down, his gaze sinking to the floor. Rose was coming towards him and before he could move, she had wrapped him in her warm arms.

He broke.

His cheeks became soaked with tears but no sound came from him. His stiff nature was broken as he resolutely refused to acquiesce to her embrace. Rose felt his stiffness and clenched her hands around his stiff body tighter. Still, he didn't move, didn't flinch. Rose backed away. Staring into his eyes, her hands travelled up his body until they cupped his face tightly.

She stared hard until he was blinking furiously, trying in vain to stem back the flow of tears. Rose slowly brought her lips up to meet his in a kiss. She poured every once of strength she had left into this kiss. His hands, shaking, came up behind her back and clutched her body tighter to kiss. She broke off the kiss gently and let him just hold her. His fingers clenched into her top, dragging it up and digging into the soft skin of her back. He held on for dear life and she did the same, too.

It could've been minutes, hours or days; she had no concept of time in that moment. She never wanted to let go of his body. The feel of the fabric of his suit underneath her fingers, the smell of the skin on his neck around her senses, the sound of his heartbeats lulled her into security and safety. It was just her here for him, like it always had been, like it always would be. He quietly extricated himself from her grip, his own fingers releasing her flesh and stepping back. The back of his hand wiped on his cheeks and he was blank again as he worked on the controls.

Rose just stood there, staring at him, dumbstruck. Something was badly wrong; she could just sense it beneath his very skin. Her voice was tentative and quiet, "Doctor? What's going on?"

He was light and cheery. As if he hadn't just been clawing at her flesh, trying to get her closer, "Nothing's going on, Rose. We're going away for a while, that's all." He didn't meet her gaze, "Get to bed, you. You need some rest."

"I'm not tired, Doctor."

"Rose, don't argue with me on this," his tone had something akin to anger, "Get to bed, now."

Now Rose was angry. How could he just order her around like that?! "You can't just tell me what to do."

"That's funny because I think I just did." He still didn't – or couldn't - meet her eye line.

Her hands placed themselves on her hips, her stance imposing, "Who d'you think you are? My father?!"

"No. I've worked out that I'm not your father since you haven't tried to destroy the universe because of me." That comment was made to sting and it worked. Purpose built to hurt her.

Rose's eyes filled at once but refusals made the tear stay firmly in her eyes. "That was low and you know it, Doctor." She looked away from him, unable to even look at him. "I just… I can't believe you'd…"

"Just get to bed, Rose. You're no use in this state." He practically spat at her and she stormed out of the room, not bothering to hold back her tears anymore. She slammed her bedroom door shut, the sound echoing around the TARDIS. Wrenching sobs wracked her body as she slid down the shut bedroom door. Her fingers dug into her palms and clawed at her skin. She was desperate to feel something other than this. This pain inside her, this gnawing, grating feeling deep inside her gut that just ate at her more and more with every tear that fell. She had only one thought as her finger nails pierced the skin slightly. _Why now?_

The Doctor heard the door slam harshly. He realised with a slam what he had said to her. What he had done to her. It was wrong but it had to be done. He had to make her want to leave. She wasn't safe with him, now. He couldn't risk her safety. All he wanted to do was protect her. That was why he had to get her to leave. Even if it killed him.

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A/N: Just to say that I do speak from experience with this sort of thing, so again, please tell me whether I went too far. 


	18. Burnt Blood

Wow. One hundred and fifty four reviews. Amazing. Thank you all so much. I'm putting a warning up for this chapter too because it's a little bit more graphic than the last in terms of self injury but it's still not too harsh to rate higher than a T. This is the last of the Rose!Angsty chapters I think so there might be some cavity sweet fluff on the way if I get enough requests. Enjoy!

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Burnt Blood

Rose Tyler.

She's nineteen. Maybe twenty by her counting. A shop girl. A Londoner. Beautiful, she almost thought. Intelligent, she nearly believed. Naïve, she'd always known.

It was what it was and what it wouldn't be any more. Her back was still pressed against the cold, hard door. Her sharp nails had dug deeper into the thin skin of her palms. She relished the pain, her eyes tracing the bloodlines to distract her attention. They ran slowly down her arms until they hit her sleeves that were pushed up towards her elbows. The crimson blood seeped into the fabric and Rose's eyes followed the trail back up towards her palms. Her fingers uncurled, almost not wanting the sight before her eyes now. They were deep red with dried blood, throbbing painfully and beads of sweat had gathered on her wrist from the exertion.

Tear tracks were still lined on her face, telling a story of pure pain caused by true love. One great big ball of pain and sadness. She wouldn't let herself leave him but he wanted her to, that was obvious enough. He hated her. He had lied to her. Had made her feel like nothing. He couldn't love her, Rose knew. You don't do that to someone you love, so he couldn't love her. Rose knew it was wrong but she jammed her fingernails back into the wounds in her palm. The pain made her cry out and gasp but she still dug in deeper. Wrong, so wrong. But it felt so right. In her head, she deserved this. She'd led him to that and she despised herself. She wouldn't leave him; she knew she was selfish like that. Even if it killed the both of them, she'd stay with him for as long as he would let her. As long as her sanity would let her.

Suddenly, Rose felt dirty and disgusted. She stood up and faced the mirror in her bathroom. Her footsteps were heavy and echoing around her pain ridden mind. She stared at the reflection with repulsion. She ripped off her clothes, flinging them into the corner, away from sight. Rose stood in front of the mirror. Black, angry bruises adorned her ribs and stomach. Furious reddish welts were littered around her neck and chest. She thumbed the stones that decorated the corner of her sink in her bathroom and hurled the largest one at the mirror as hard as her torso could let her.

The glass shattered, the tendrils spreading and looking like cobwebs glinting in winter sun. Rose hated how beautiful it looked. She hurled another one and the glass smashed to the floor. Broken glass spread everywhere across the cold bathroom tiles. She felt tiny shards embed in her skin and didn't care. She felt larger pieces cut her feet as she walked through it, back to her bed. She ached everywhere. Her head throbbed still, burn mark barely visible on her forehead. Rose was hurting, simply. He had made it worse. And still she couldn't bring herself to leave.

Rose didn't bother to cover up. She didn't wash the blood from her arms or pick glass from her feet. Rose just curled up on her bed, naked and shivering from leftover sobs and the coldness in her room. Her arms lay in front of her. Her right hand traced over the tracks of blood on her left forearm gently. She didn't quite believe what she had done.

Rose didn't believe that anything was real. It didn't seem to be real at all. _But then_, Rose thought, _does anything ever seem true in this life?_ Slowly, the tears started up but no aching sobs wracked her body anymore. They were spent tears. Deep seated sadness that somehow hurt more and cut deeper than anything else. She pulled a loose sheet over her red marked body and continued to stare at her arms and hands until her eyes drooped closed.

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The Doctor was perched on the edge of the Captain's chair. Big, soft, yellow and moulded to his form. He was comfortable but he still fidgeted in his seat. He was worried about everything he'd done to her. How his words would make her feel. Every little exclamation he'd said to Rose was to make her want to leave him, to hate him. He didn't want her to leave him but she had to. He couldn't keep her anymore and he couldn't ask her to leave or force her out. He wouldn't be able to do something like that.

He knew he'd held onto her skin, had let her comfort him for the briefest of moments before he had realised what he was doing. Touching her flesh, marking her skin with his own self hatred. He'd marked her and it made him feel even sick at himself. He had no right to her flesh, to her bright, brilliant soul. She was so much better than he could ever hope to be. So brave and beautiful. Kind and compassionate. But he'd practically lied to her face by sending her away. He knew that she thought she disgusted him. What would that do to her?

What would she think of herself?

The realisation came crashing down at the same moment he heard the crashing sound from within the TARDIS. He stood up abruptly, frozen in the moment as he debated. Should he go find her? Should he lie in her arms and kiss her, hold her skin, caress her body? Should he tell her the truth? Should he apologize, tell her he was wrong, tell her how much he didn't deserve her? For the first time in his nine hundred years, the Doctor didn't know what to do.

He switched between fiddling with the controls and staring longingly at the route to Rose's door. He checked his watch. Ten minutes since that crashing sound. He glanced at the interior door. Went back to fiddling with the controls. Twenty minutes. Gazed at the door before fiddling with his cuffs and sighing. Relenting finally, he strode off into the direction to Rose's room.

Finally at her door, he raised his fist to knock but let it down again. He breathed out slowly and raised his fist again. He looked at it, frozen above his head and shook himself. He walked away from her door, hands shoved deep down inside his pockets. A quiet muffled scream came from her room and he bounded through the shut door without even realising what he was doing.

He hated the sight that greeted into him. It would burn into his mind and scald his blood for eternity.


	19. A Hand To Hold

Woah, I'm so sorry for the wait. I just couldn't seem to get this chapter right. On top of personal problems and bad health, it took longer than I expected. Anyway, it is fluffier than any of the other chapters and it can only get fluffier. I was thinking about doing some smut for the end chapter but I'm not sure so I'm leaving it down to you. Please read and review! Dedicated to Chelle and Cara!

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A Hand To Hold

He guessed he'd seen so many horrifying things in his nine hundred plus years. A mother weeping over her dead child as she cradled its lifeless body. A whole city destroyed by warfare he wasn't allowed to stop. The fall of Arcadia, fighting on the front line. None were as alarming as the sight that played before him now. He couldn't watch, yet couldn't turn away. Those sheets, loose around her body tainted and scattered with her blood. _Her_ blood. _Rose's_ blood. She thrashed around fitfully, eyes screwed shut, brow furrowed, sweat coating her forehead. It nearly broke him. He didn't want to watch her but he couldn't just leave her to her nightmare. He had to help her. He needed her.

The Doctor ripped the sheet from her form, throwing it into the corner where it could never see the light of day again. His eyes widened as the sight worsened. Her naked body, something he had dreamt about, something he'd wanted to touch was nearly ripped to shreds, blood coating nearly every inch of her once beautiful skin. Rose's wounded skin was purple with bruising and scarlet with dried blood. Some jagged cuts were ripped open by her movements; her wild screams made the Doctor's ears bleed. He was forced back into reality as she called his name in her nightmare. He turned and stumbled into her bathroom.

He heard a crunch. He dropped his head slowly, his eyes following, reluctant to see what was there. Glass, mirrored glass, lined the floor almost completely. Shard upon shard of flinted stone lay in between the cracked, splintered glass. It lined the floor. His eyes travelled across the floor. The slight scatterings of blood now dried into the linoleum, the pieces that were missing. Rose had done this. His stomach dropped a mile. "Doctor!" Rose screamed heavily from next door. The Doctor shook himself and grabbed her wet flannel and tweezers sitting next to the sink. Dashing back to her side, he dropped to his knees, concern filling his soul. She was thrashing and moving around faster, her cuts bleeding heavily with every pulse of her heartbeat.

"Rose!" He shouted, holding her arms loosely by her side, "Rose, calm down, shhh…" he whispered into her side. Her moans and screams lessened slightly. He sidled down beside her and brought her body close to his, arms wrapped underneath her shoulders loosely and he rocked her gently, whispering into her hair, "Rosie, Rosie… shush now… I'm here."

Rose drifted off quietly, not a sound or a movement other than her even breathing. The Doctor let her go slowly, careful of waking her. He drenched the flannel in cold water and started on her wounds. He dabbed the cloth over her skin, wiping away the evidence of her self destruction. Gently, he tweezed stray shards of glass embedded into her torso and soothed her as she whimpered slightly. Soon, her cuts were no longer bleeding, her body clean of blood. The bruises remained, purple and angry welts on her skin. He grabbed the dermal regenerator from the med lab quickly, not wanting to leave her side for a second. He listened to her heartbeat and breathing, talking to her softly as he spent hours healing each layer of her skin.

"Why would you do this to yourself, Rose? It doesn't feel like you. I suppose it's my fault. It is," he sighed, "it's my fault and I'm sorry for every stupid thing I've done. I don't deserve you." He wiped her fevered brow as the skin at her neck returned to its normal colour, "You saved me, did you know that? I didn't want to live after…" he stumbled, "after the war. It didn't seem right that I survive and others died. I killed them." All her skin was healed; she was more beautiful than ever. Draping a clean sheet over her body, he clasped her hand tight in his, continuing to look at the floor. "How can you stand to be around me after what I did? You deserve better than me. You deserve all the love in the world."

"Then love me," Rose whispered hoarsely, her golden amber eyes slitted open, resting on their hands locked together.

The Doctor's head shot up and he breathed a sigh of relief, "You scared me for a second there. Thought you were gonna sleep for a long time."

Rose smiled weakly at his face, the release was evident, "I know. I'm sorry I... for what I did. It was wrong."

"It wasn't wrong, Rose. It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

Rose tutted quietly, "Don't blame yourself. I did this, not you. You didn't force me to do anything."

He let it go, resigned that he wasn't going to win this one, "Why did you…" he trailed off, not knowing what to say, not wanting to say it.

"I don't know," Rose whispered, tears welling in her eyes, "I just… I wanted to feel something other than this," she gripped a fist over her heart, "Control, I suppose. It's hard to explain."

"I understand." They fell into a lapsed silence for a few moments, "You should get some sleep. You look tired."

"Gee, thanks," Rose said. He grinned and went to let go of her hand. She gripped it tighter. "Don't go. Stay with me."

"Rose…" he began,

"Please." She saw his walls crumble. He took of his jacket, converse and loosened his tie. He lay down on her bed, the clean sheets crumpled beneath him. She crawled over him, her head resting over his dual heartbeat.

The Doctor wrapped his arms around her slim frame. Slimmer than he remembered. He held her tightly, not wanting to let go. "Just sleep. I'll be here when you wake up. I promise." He stroked her skin lightly, long fingers tangled in her soft blonde tresses. Placing a light kiss to the top of her head, he felt her drift of to a calm, deep sleep.

"I do love you, you know, Rose. Guess I always have. Just one of those things. Do you believe in soul mates? Do I believe in a soul, come to think?" He looked down and smiled languidly at her content face, "Never mind, huh? Where shall we go next, then? I was thinking about the Isop System. They have the planet there that makes the best chocolate in the universe. Mind you, Cadbury's come close, don't you think. I know for a fact that you'd love it. Not an evil weirdo in sight. I promise." He kissed her head lightly and felt his own eyes drift closed and he yawned. "That's what we'll do." He said sleepily, "The chocolate planet." His head fell against her pillow as he drifted asleep, his arms still wrapped securely around her body.

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A/N: Okay, might have been able to go fluffier, but I wanted to save it for next chapter. Opinions in a review please! 


	20. Puzzle Pieces

Well... this is it. The end. It will be the last chapter, no epilogue, I'm afraid. Thank you to all of those reviewers, at time of publication, there are a hundred and seventy reviews. The most for any fic I've written ever. Doctor Who fans are the greatest. This one is dedicated to anyone who's read, reviewed, alerted or favourited this humble little story. I owe all of my inspriation to you. So, for the last time, nothing belongs to me, and I hope you enjoy. Let's see who can play 'Spot The Extended Metaphor' Answers on a review, please!

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Puzzle Pieces

Rose cracked an eye open experimentally. The harsh glare of the TARDIS lights rained down upon her and the man sleeping in her arms. His legs had draped themselves over her cloth-clad ones sometime during the night. She hadn't had any nightmares, but had slept soundlessly and deeply for what felt like days. The Doctor was curled to her side, his head buried protectively in the crook of her neck, his breath hot against her chin as he slept. Gently and unwillingly, Rose extricated herself from his tight grip on her torso. She laid his arms down slowly, not wanting to wake the tired Time Lord. He moaned a bit in his sleep and readjusted himself but his beautiful mahogany eyes refused to open. Rose pulled on a clean pair of pyjama, painfully aware that she was naked and slipped into her bunny slippers and matching dressing gown. The Doctor always teased her about those but they reminded her of her childhood, when everything was easier.

She padded slowly down into the kitchen, not wanting anything to wake him up. He'd been so good to her last night that she wanted to make it up to him. Carefully, Rose filled the kettle and switched it on, watching the bubbles as they got bigger through the clear plastic of the kettle. She reached up for his favourite mug, the one that she had bought him ages ago but found that it wasn't there. She rooted around the cupboards, looking for it. She wanted him to have it; he wouldn't just throw it out. And then she saw it, out of the corner of her eye, the little pile of broken porcelain and old tea. He'd dropped it. He must have been in a rush because; knowing the Doctor, Rose knew he'd fix it as soon as it was broken. He must've been looking for her.

The guilt swamped over her and she picked up the pieces, sitting at the kitchen table. She'd rooted around the draws to find his special glue that only bonds crockery. Wonderful little invention, it wiped clean off skin and other surfaces but formed an unbreakable seal between broken pieces of porcelain. Rose washed the pieces and began to piece them together, talking absently to the TARDIS. "I wonder if he's alright," Rose muttered as she aligned two pieces up, "He's slept for a bloody long time. I hope he's not sick." She reached for the glue as she found two pieces of her puzzle. "Success! I don't wanna mess this up, y'know? I've lost him once, I can't do it again." She sealed an edge.

"He thought I was asleep when he stared nattering on to himself. Even when he's on his own, he seems to never want to stop talking." She glued another piece onto her little puzzle, "I know he promised me we'd go to that chocolate planet. Isop System, wasn't it, girl?" The lights glowed amber in agreement. "Good. He can let me fill my body up with enough chocolate to make me ill." She laughed lightly, "Although knowing him, he'd want it all to himself." She remembered his quirks, "He's like a six year old with ADHD sometimes. Always bouncing around, nattering on non-stop, licking everything in sight. You'd think he'd be able to learn self control after nine hundred years." She glued a tricky piece onto the mug, making certain the writing lined up perfectly.

Rose grinned, "Still love him though. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me." She glued another piece and held it in place for a second, "In any lifetime." She added. Rose stared at the half finished mug. "Do I tell him, girl?" The lights glowed blue. Uncertainty. "I can see everything he does. Every wave of time as it twists and changes out of shape. It doesn't hurt anymore, more like a twinge. Must just be temporary. I don't want to worry him. Not just yet anyway. We've only just got back on our feet." She seamed together another tiny, fiddly piece. "I'll wait until we're alright. I can't bother him now." The TARDIS said nothing. Not a hum or a murmur.

"I wonder if he's awake yet." Red. Negative. "Good, it'll give me time to get our breakfast ready." Rose glued another piece and watched as the fault line disappeared almost instantly. She noticed that the handle was missing, the last piece of the puzzle. "Where the hell is that thing? It's the most important part." Rose mumbled as she looked around the kitchen floor on her hands and knees. "Here, handle, handle, handle! Where are you?" Rose sang in a sing song voice. She bumped her head against something solid. Looking up, she saw socked feet and brown pinstriped knees. Her wide brown eyes travelled upwards slowly. She saw his white shirt, sleep worn and rumpled deliciously. One long fingered hand extended towards Rose, still on her hands and knees. He was grinning wildly, his eyes flaring with amusement at her. His lips curled upwards and his cheeks were rosy red. His eyes danced in the glow that surrounded him. Rose's eyes settled on his other hand.

Twirling around his finger was the missing piece of her puzzle. "You missing something by any chance?" He said, cockily. The handle of his mug danced over his fingers, expertly twisting it around. She smirked slightly and grabbed his extended hand, his finger threading themselves through hers.

"Yeah! Where'd you find that?" Rose asked.

"Underneath the table a while ago. You were in your own little dream world there, you know?" He sat down and took the mug in hand carefully. She watched as he lined the glue carefully along the edge. The Doctor stared as he lowered the last piece into place, the cracks all sealed and healed and wonderfully smooth. "There," he finally said. "All better. Tea, then?"

All Rose could muster was a weak, "Yeah." His intensity had mesmerised her slightly.

"Brilliant!" He grinned, kissing her forehead, "Tell you what, you make the tea and I'll cook. You could do with fattening up a bit, you're way too skinny."

Rose scoffed, "I don't think so mister, you can't cook for toffee! Besides, since when have I been too skinny?" She teased.

The Doctor looked her up and down, "I happen to like it when you're curvier. There's more Rose Tyler to hold in my hands when I hug you if you're curvy."

Rose smiled, "Better take me to that chocolate planet then!" She grinned, turning the kettle on with a click.

His smile drooped a bit and he adopted his 'wounded puppy' eyes, "You heard that then? Do we have to? It seems so boring, Rose! Come on, where's the excitement?"

"You can have excitement any day of the year, Doctor. All I'm asking for is a little time on a chocolate planet."

"It's called Rettubaococ, actually." He said, pulling pans out of the cupboard, "A chocolate place with 3000th generation humans. It seems so dull!"

Rose poked him in the chest, "You're the one that promised me a trip there, remember?"

"Please! I'll do anything." His pout caught her attention and she couldn't help but kiss his lips. "That was nice. What was that for again?"

"Well…" Rose worried her bottom lip between her teeth, "It just felt right."

He grinned and bounced on his heels, "Do it again, do it again!" He chorused.

Rose kissed him once, slow and lingering. "I'll give you a choice, yeah? Either you take me to the chocolate planet and give me my promise or I'll ask the TARDIS to drop us off at my mum's flat for the entire weekend."

He looked worry-struck then smiled slowly, "Rettubaococ here we come!" He led her to the control room, breakfast forgotten. The repaired mug standing proud on the kitchen table.

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A/N 1: Please give me some sort of feedback. What did you all think of the ending?

A/N 2: Look out for my new fic, to be entiltled "Broken Hallelujah" (it has Jack in it!)


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